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Curious. Do any of you hold off getting surgery as of the lack of support?

MsHumptyDumptyMMsHumptyDumpty Posts: 1,567
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:48 AM in Water Cooler
I have been told different stories by different Drs about if surgery will or won't help me. To date I have not been convinced enough by the ones who say it will help to do it.
However I am going to check with some new Drs and get their opinions after winter this year.

However even if I think surgery would help me, I still have a major issue.

Getting any help while recovering! My hubby is too wishy washy for me to count on and he is all I have to help me.

He changes from minute to minute as to his willingness to help me or not. If I have to force him to help me, it can get ugly :(

When the Drs. talk about how long my recovery will be IF I get surgery he "jokes" and tells me "you got me for 1 week lady".

We own our own biz and after having other surgeries ( non back ) he has always made me feel so bad I returned to work weeks sooner then I was suppose to.

I make him to sound like a horrible person and there are times I think that too lol The truth is he is just not a care giver for longer then a few hrs.

So I am wondering if anyone else has held off from lack of support and/or help at home afterwards?

Also can I recover with no help?

We are looking at fusion/fusions, cage of L and S and shoot can't remember the other thing the Drs want to do..sorry I don't have more specific details as I am not doing it right now, so have just been given some general thoughts of what I need done.

L1 - S2 "gone" useless in 1 way or another. DDD. RA. Bone Spurs. Tons of nerve damage/issues. Stenosis. Both knees replaced. 50 yrs old. I had a great fall (hence my user name) at age 41 and it has been a domino effect every since.


  • i live alone, and have had to hire home care after i was released from the hospital; someone to come in and help me bathe, cook and the likes for the first week until family came
  • So I can get to the bathroom and take care of my basic needs on my own? I am not asking for a guarantee lol just from knowledge/experiences of others.

    I forgot to add I do NEED knee surgery which I have been putting off for about 3 yrs ( at least ) and am worried about doing for myself after that surgery as well.
    I don't think I can put off the knee surgery much longer. It is making my back worse and I am starting to trip a lot from it going out from under me.

    The thought is a knee replacement :(

    L1 - S2 "gone" useless in 1 way or another. DDD. RA. Bone Spurs. Tons of nerve damage/issues. Stenosis. Both knees replaced. 50 yrs old. I had a great fall (hence my user name) at age 41 and it has been a domino effect every since.
  • How many levels are you looking at?

    I am sorry you are having a hard time with the hubby. I know getting mine on board is hard some times. He thinks I am Super Woman and usually when he needs to step up he does. I understand about the finances though. No matter how much I need to stop working I can't afford it. Maybe I can get away with it for a few weeks here and there but "we" definately can't afford for me to go on disability.

    With my Lumbar Fusion I had 3 levels L4/L5/S1. My Hubby stayed home 2 weeks basically. I week while I was in the hospital and 1 week at home with me. I had my teenage daughter for another week after that. I needed my husband for the first week at home to help with the shower and the toilet (at times). My daughter just baby sat, checked me, reminded me to eat, take meds etc. By the 3rd week I was driving short trips and reduced my meds so I wasn't a zombi any more.

    I hope that helps.

  • Hi Ms Humpty,

    My 2-level fusion was on Sept 29, and we were told my husband should plan to stay home with me for the first two weeks. As it turns out, I was able to get around just fine and with the aid of my nifty grabber and a special small table with a grab bar in front which he made for me and which sits close to the livingroom sofa, I was able to pick up things and get myself up from the sofa without assistance. Some people, like your husband, just aren't caregivers. Mine would have taken time off if I needed him to do that, but I didn't. When he walked in the door from work, however, I did tend to meet him with "you can to this, then this, oh, and please get me "this" off the shelf, lol. He kindly does anything I ask of him and so I try not to ask more of him than is absolutely necessary. I'm a very independent person, however, who likes to do things for myself, so I have tended to overdo things during the early stages of this recovery. So far, I've gotten away with it but I would urge you to not push yourself to bend or lift things which are outside the parameters your doctor gives you (10 lbs, for me), if you do opt to go with the surgery. It's just not worth it to risk doing damage to your back after this delicate and expensive surgery.

    There isn't really any way for me to answer your question about whether or not to hold off on a surgery based on the assistance you'd have available. That is such an individual thing. If I ever need further lumbar surgery, I now know the answer to that question, but I couldn't have known beforehand and I doubt you will be able to know that for sure either. If you keep putting your surgery off, however, there may come a point when you pretty well must make the decision to go for the surgery whether you can count on help from your hubby or not. Can you call on friends or family to come in and give you a hand?

    2009 Foraminotomy C6-72010 PLIF L4-S1Multi RFA's, cervical inj, lumbar injLaminectomy L3-4 and fusion w/internal fixation T10-L4 July 17Fusion C2-C5 yet to be scheduled
  • Just wanted to say my Father had knee replacement well two, one at a time of course and he lives alone in a basement apartment and he was able to manage with crutches. It was nice weather when he got it done so he was able to get out everyday and met a lot of great people to open the doors for him. He did very well and got back to work. He is 75 now and said it was the best thing he could ever have done as he has no pain walking anymore. He plays golf 3 times a week and walks a lot. He was in his 50's when he got them done. I have no experience with back surgery but others here have good information for you. I guess you'll know the right time to have your surgeries and hope you can get some support. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • Thanks to each of you for your help in this. I am most grateful :D

    IF I have the back surgery it will be a Lumbar Fusion I had 3 levels L4/L5/S1. and they said something about my S2 ( I think ).

    I am the doer for everyone and no one offers or is willing too give back, so I am always on my own - maybe time to get new friends ;)

    I can hear it now "hey I am having major back surgery and my current friends/family suck. Will you be my new friend and help me out"? lol :loser:
    L1 - S2 "gone" useless in 1 way or another. DDD. RA. Bone Spurs. Tons of nerve damage/issues. Stenosis. Both knees replaced. 50 yrs old. I had a great fall (hence my user name) at age 41 and it has been a domino effect every since.
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