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I have a hole in my heart

j.howiejj.howie Brentwood, Ca., USAPosts: 1,730
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:48 AM in Matters of the Heart
I got a call this morning. And it looks like my mom is at end of life with her cancer. So I'm not sure I'll be on the forums for a while. But on the other hand I may need some support. So much is expected of me, being the oldest son out of 6 living.
Click my name to see my Medical history
You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!


  • Jim we will always be with you. Know that these are precious moments that you will spend with your mom. Time that will be added to the lifetime of love and memories you already have.
  • Like Kris said, we are now circling around you and your family in this time of need. You have been a wonderful, dedicated and supportive son! Can't beat that Jim. You're really good people! ***HUGZ***

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • We will always be here for support. My heart goes to you and your family at this time.
    APROUD CANADIANveteranButNOTa doctor, my thoughts are my own
  • I wish you gather your strength while you're dealing with the responsibility of being the oldest son, but hope your family can support you also. Just being there for your Mom has been a great comfort for her I'm sure. We're here to support you when you need it. Prayers and thinking of you at this time. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • I am so sorry. My thoughts are with you.
  • As has been said, thoughts and prays to you. None of this is easy!
  • You & your siblings are in my thoughts and mom is in my prayers that she finds peace & comfort.

  • Oh Jim,

    You will be in my prayers. I am the youngest of 6 and cannot imagine losing my mother. She is almost 71 but doing ok. You know this forum is full of wonderful and supportive people. We will be here for you if you need us.

  • Jim,

    I'm so sorry to hear this. We've been through it and it is a difficult time, but you will make it. Please do come back here for some love and support--it is here for you whenever you need it! image

    2009 Foraminotomy C6-72010 PLIF L4-S1Multi RFA's, cervical inj, lumbar injLaminectomy L3-4 and fusion w/internal fixation T10-L4 July 17Fusion C2-C5 yet to be scheduled
  • i'm so sorry jim. my thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time.
  • I'm sure it must be hard to watch a loved one succumb to such a horrable illness. I will say this: from all of your posts that I have read, you are a son any mom would be proud to have. That is a testament to you and your mom.

    My thoughts and prayers will be with you at this difficult time.

    Take care,

  • May you and your family all gather strength and comfort through one another, during this time.

    Your mom has been very blessed by having you take excellent care of her and she truly feels the love from you and your other siblings.

    We are here for you, Jim.

    I will lift you and your family up in prayers and I wish your mom the utmost of a peaceful passing.

    Hugs with love,


  • Oh Jim, hugs. I hope you and her can share one more laugh, one more memory, hold hands hugs her and show her the love you have been. Even these hard moments will be memories, you can only do so much. My thoughts are with you, hugs and sending good vibes
  • Jim,

    Take all the time you need and when you can we will be here waiting for you. But praying that this will all work out for you and your family and that yours and your mom's suffering won't be to hard. Sending some positives vibes your way to help you deal with this most difficult time and have the strength to get through it. But know we are all here for you.
  • jlrfryejjlrfrye ohioPosts: 1,110
    My thoughts and prayers are being said for you and your family during this difficult time.
  • My thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time in your life. Take it one day at a time and know that you are not alone....you can always count on support from your friends at SH in addition to your faith, friends and family.

    Gentle hugs coming your way,

  • sunny1966ssunny1966 VIRGINIAPosts: 1,385
    You have my deepest sympathy, thoughts, and prayers through this terribly heartwrenching time. You know that I'm here for you whenever you need to talk or need someone to listen. You'll always know that you have been there for your mom and done everything you possibly could. You are a wonderful son and have put your own pain aside to comfort and care for her. These times with her are so precious. I'll be praying for your mom, you, and your siblings.

  • I'm very sorry to hear this.
    My thought's and prayers for your mom and you and your family.
  • There's nothing anyone can say to make it better right now, but know that I, along with all your other friends here, am praying for you to have the strength you need to get through this and that your mom goes in peace and is out of her suffering.

    Take care of yourself, my friend, and we'll be here for you any time you need us.

  • Grief surrounds us. We know the support is there but it does not make the loss any easier.

    Somehow the world goes on. People still eat, brew a pot of coffee, catch a bus, talk on the phone. How is that? Shouldn't the whole world stop? Just for a minute?

    You'll go through all those emotions and a million others and so many friends will be there waiting for you when you need them. Take your time! What a wonderful Son you are. What a wonderful Mother she must be to have helped create such a great guy.


  • your mom and also your family.
    Losing your mom is going to be so hard, but you have been there for her, spending precious time with her. I hope that that special time has provided you with some wonderful memories that you will be able to treasure.

    Know that you have a lot of supportive friends who are thinking and praying for you. We are here whenever you need us. >:D<
  • Just a little note, sending good vibes, letting you know you are still on my mind at this most hard time for you,hugs
  • Just a little note, sending good vibes, letting you know you are still on my mind at this most hard time for you,hugs
  • Sorry to hear your mom is losing her battle. Just remember you were there for her helping her as she fought the terrible fight and maybe she was here longer because she had you there to talk to, comfort her, and know she was loved so very much. You are her oldest and she leaves you with so much to take care of. There will be bad days ahead,not going to be easy with the holidays ahead, but take it one day at a time. Just go with flow of your emotions to help heal.Cherish your memories that you can carry in your heart forever. Moms are hard to part with. I lost mine 12/20/93 and I still miss her every day, something makes me laugh,smile, sad, cry when it reminds me of her but I know she is painfree as she watches over us, and sometimes we laugh when we think mom did that! Your mom's spirit will be with you always! Take care! I'll pray for your family!

  • I am really late in seeing your post but sympathy to you and your family. Like it is said, you have a circle of friends here, a circle of friends with no beginning and no end! Hugs, Robin
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