this i suppose belongs in this section i think. life is just so crap lately.i had to leave work. and havent been able to do much for the last three months. i seemed to have developed tommy troubles, cut latose, egg, fatty food. ect. over the month mmark now, annoyed, because its hard to do the back work and pool stuff my back desperately needs. but mostly i just wanted to say, its obscene that people are left to suffer in pain. i kinda control mine, but sometimes i cant move. i hate that i cant surf or ski or even run. it breaks my heart when i see others doing things i cant. makes me feel old. i am 28. i need i life. mostly i am angry that they cant fix me. properly. i want flexion back. i know i want what i cant have. and cant believe that this is it for me. i am able to do a little bit of something. i can walk for no more than half an hour, sit for a little while. when they first found this, the specialist when youll be able to go back next week. six weeks latter i left my work. my gp wanted me to go back before that two days. the back stuff isnt as major as many on here. i felt lied to. now i realize , they (docs), are largely clueless as to understanding backs. there are so many things we can fix these days, just no us. no for backs we live with this for the rest of our lives. my work were like well good luck at least you know whats wrong now thats got to be a sliver lining.
i am bitter angry and sad.
the beach is part of my soul. and i fear i will not be able to do much there. it is just so hard to believe.
i would love desperately to talk to any one with spondy.
mines grd1 s1l5. with a disc minimal bulge. and scoliosis thrown in for fun. opstepinia. too.
they think the tummy stuff is from the niads, the first lot of docs, only wanted to give me more of this.
. i said no. my new gp tells me there poison, i always thought theyd make me sick. they stopped me absorbing iron.
which affected my thyroid, then tummy. it remains to be seen where there this is accurrate she also says spondy may degenerate. which is scary.
how do you cope?
how do you smile when you give up every single thing you love?
how do you stop your self from looking back at what used to be?
i was strong fit healthy. i feel 90.
i wake up at night dreaming that i have just been skiing and know thats it. thats all i will ever feel of that.
i miss feeling the strength of my back bones supporting my body