I had a plif at L5-S1 on the 24th of Jan. I am having trouble coping with the fact that I am 27 and feel like crap most days. Not just pain that is nothing new just thought that the after surgery pain would be better than it is, but also that every time I turn around I find something else that I can't do for my self. My wife has been a big help but we have a 5 month old baby and she is starting to burn out. And I understand the load she is carrying. I hate not being able to do for myself. I wish I could pick up my daughter but the Dr says no. So I can't even help her that much. And one of the pills I am currently weening myself off of, because it wound me up so that laying down to take a rest was very hard to do and gave me some very bad mood swings. Which are not helping with my relationship with my wife. Pretty sure she will tell me to leave if I have another melt down, so I am scared ****less as I don't have anywhere else to go except out in the cold and it is really cold here. The thing that bothers me is that I know why I am depressed, but I can't seem to get a handle on it. I don't know what to do, I probably need to talk to someone or take an anti-depressant but I have no way to pay for one, all of my medical right now is through work comp. And I have no idea if they will cover those kind of pills. I just don't know what to do. In 6 months I went from being a person who did for himself to being a person who can't put on my boots, well I could probably get them on but tying them would never happen.
Sorry for the long rant, but someone here has to know how I feel. It would be nice to hear from someone with any advice. Thank you for your time.
P.S. there is a storm here tonight and it is killing me, my breakthrough pain med is not enough for what these winter storms do to me.