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Medication Mind Games

SplendagrrlSSplendagrrl Posts: 108
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:53 AM in Pain Medications
Hi I am new here but was wondering if anyone else feels like their medication is playing mind games or something. I have had chronic pain for 4 years. At first I was in pain and just had to take them here and there, and now as my pain progressed I am now on them everyday allday.

When you start having pain you have to take pain medication for relief but after 4 years my mind plays tricks on me. I start wondering if I am really in pain at all or if I just need the medication. So then I try not to take it and I get in extreme pain and give in and realize I do need it. Then I start thinking maybe the medication itself is making me in pain, it is crazy...lol

Then I will start thinking again maybe I do not need them at all and if I would just excercise this would all go away so back to the gym I go. Then I come home crippled and have to lay down and cannot get up for the rest of the day. It is all driving me crazy and depressing me even more second guessing myself all the time. Does anyone go through this or am I the only nutty one??? lol


  • Your the nutty one. Well you asked for opinions lol ;)

    I am just messing with you :)

    NO I know I went through this until I finally accepted that this is how I was to live and in order to have a life I needed the meds.

    From what you posted I would guess your body needs the meds for pain, not needs the meds as in dependent on them - aka: addiction

    I fought this for a long time until I finally was losing so much quality to my life that I was forced to accept that in order to have a real life I had to be able to keep the pain under control.

    I am still never pain free as I don't want more meds then I have to take to function and have some enjoyment.

    Even after all this time when the need for a med increase comes up I fight it...sigh

    So no your normal or we are both nuts ;)

    L1 - S2 "gone" useless in 1 way or another. DDD. RA. Bone Spurs. Tons of nerve damage/issues. Stenosis. Both knees replaced. 50 yrs old. I had a great fall (hence my user name) at age 41 and it has been a domino effect every since.
  • I have been going though the same thing. I'm glad you brought it up. What a load off, Others are as nutty as i am 8} but in a good way. Good to you and yours!!!
  • Thanks at least I am not the only one....of course I also need to remind myself that I had a major neck operation as well and my neck still causes me pain too! Today I did a deep house cleaning which I had not done for awhile and now I am laying down in terrible pain in my neck , back and leg and can barely move. It's times like this that makes me realize I am in pain! Lol
  • Glad I found this forum now I have others to be Nutty with!!!!! LOL =))
  • No I don't think your going nutty,or not permanently anyway ,LOL.
    I think that most people that have to take meds for pain,long term all go through this to some degree.
    I know I have,its been 5 yrs for me now.
    I do exactly the same,go off them,end up back in pain,not wanting to get off my bed etc.Get back on them,& I can actually get out & walk the dog,etc.
    Then I feel guilty for being able to do these thing,I should be working,etc.
    It sure is a mind game.Depression trys to slip in too.Thats peobably my worst one.Feeling like I'm a waste of space etc,because of how limited I am,etc.
    So,don't be hard on yourself,it's part of the process,if you live with constant aching/pain.
    This is a great site/forum,lots of support & encouragement.You just need to yell out for help,& someone is usually there to offer encouragement.Sometimes it takes a little time for posts to show,but good to see you here.Chin up,the sun is there for us too.
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,837
    Anyone living in chronic pain understands all the ups/downs/ins/outs and more you have to go through on a daily basis.

    There have been so many articles published about what chronic pain can do to a person's emotional status.

    In some of the recent Spine-Health Newsletters, there have been much said about this.

    On top of the pain, add in the various medications we have to take. I believe taking anything for extended periods of times can play tricks with your body and mind.

    I think we can also understand the dreams and nightmares we may have at times, but its those middle of the day 'mind-twists', 'hearing or seeing things' or just so many other things that remind us of what we deal with.

    Nutty? Yes Crazy? No Brave? We have to be
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • I seem to go through periods of homeostatis then suddenly something changes and I am in sooo much pain. Sometimes I know what why, overworking, sometimes I don't know the cause. Recently I started back on antihistimine and I had to decrease my pain meds since I was sleeping like the dead.
    Thanks for calling us Brave. Non-spineys don't always see us that way.
    Severe DDD. Klippel Feil Deformity. Cervical Foraminatomy that turned into Lamy. I have tried so many treatments, therapy's and medications.
  • Splenda, I cleaned house yesterday so I am also nuts, er, no I mean I know what you are trying to say ;))

    Hey I remember when I use to be able to clean house (the entire house-no skipping), do laundry, cook dinner, help kids w/homework (and all the things that involve children), cut grass (w/push mower (cross mheart), and ALL in one day. Now those days I would still be in misery because I was born with one of my disorders, but still I did accomplish those things, and they were on my day off from my full time job and me a single mom, and I went to school part time. When I look back on those days I almost can't believe what I did, but having said that.. it's probably a big part of why I am where I am today. Excuse me for reliving my days of yore, but sometimes I do miss them and obviously I feel insecure, otherwise why would I mention what a superwoman I once was...lmao.

    When I clean now I can't finish the entire house in one shot and I have to skip a thing or two, so my tub still needs scrubbed and I have a terrible time w/that. The chair in my bedroom is piled with folded laundry that I have yet to put away, though it is folded, but I had to take today off because I worked all day yesterday. I did cook dinner & do dishes today, but that's it.

    I try not to overdo things, but I've been taking more vitamins, the vitamin B12 complex and feeling a lot more energized, and it can be really hard sitting around when my body needs to, but my mind wants to do so many things. But I am lovin' this vit.B12 complex :>
  • This morning I woke up with my pain level around a 5 along with two extra cricks in my back. My lawn was already going to seed from all of the rain that we've been getting. I told my wife that there's no way I'm going to cut the grass today. My back wouldn't allow that. Then I laid out on my recliner chair for an hour's nap. When I woke up my back felt in tolerable shape. I went out and cut the lawn after all. Because of the extra long grass I had to make two passes with the lawn mower in order to pick up all of the clippings.

    Despite this extra effort my back is still holding steady at a pain level of 3. The funny thing is, the other day at work my back was screaming at me at pain level 7. All I was doing that day was alternating between standing and sitting. I didn't do anything strenuous with my back and it was driving me to near tears with the pain.

    Anyway, welcome to the club.

    Disability retirement
  • j.howiejj.howie Brentwood, Ca., USAPosts: 1,730
    Welcome to the "NUT HOUSE"!!! =))
    Jim :D
    Click my name to see my Medical history
    You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
    Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!
  • I am happy to see my post did not upset you, I was hoping to make you smile ;)

    Yep I know ALL about pay days. Sometimes I get so pissed off at my new life and I do things I use to do. BUT I always pay for it = pay day :(

    I usually get stopped mid way through the chore as the pain is so bad.

    Pain is like a yo yo - up & down and we have to learn to live around the ups & downs - no wonder we are nut jobs!! :silly:
    L1 - S2 "gone" useless in 1 way or another. DDD. RA. Bone Spurs. Tons of nerve damage/issues. Stenosis. Both knees replaced. 50 yrs old. I had a great fall (hence my user name) at age 41 and it has been a domino effect every since.
  • I know what you mean I have been fighting the depression probably since my neck surgery. With my kids grown and now I cannot work I feel useless. Of course I do house stuff, but when you are in pain you do not feel very good about yourself. It dose not help that I have gained weight in the last year because I cannot get moving or work out like I used to. Of course when the doctors keep telling you there in nothing you can do but take pain pills because you have chronic pain makes everything worse. Thanks for your encouragement!, :)
  • Thanks, I am so glad I found this group. For the last week every time my husband comes around he asks me what I am doing, and I have to tell him the same thing. Reading the back forums...lol It really helps to know I am not at this all alone!
  • I know for my situation it seems like the pain is the worst when I stand or sit in one spot for too long. I can,t stand in one place for 10 minutes but I can walk for 10 minutes!, It must compound your spine more.
  • Thanks I am looking forward to it! Lol <:P
  • It is fun to be crazy....... Well, not really, but we don't have a choice.

    It is hard, as Robin mentioned, to not be able to do the things you once could. Like her, I cleaned the house, took care of the kids, etc, etc. made dinner and had no problems. Last Friday, I "super-dusted" the master bedroom, and felt like I had spent the day working in a rock mine! I even had to lay down with my ice pack, because hubby wanted us to go out to dinner with friends that evening.

    I don't know what what I would do if I had kids to take care of on top of the other things I have to do. I am finally learning to accept the fact that I can still do things, just on a much smaller, much shorter level.
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