I am really struggling with chronic pain and the idea of a relationship, and am hoping maybe your experiences can help me out.
I feel like I can't start a relationship because it wouldn't be fair to the other person. If I found a person I truly loved then I wouldn't want to subject them to all the pain and misery.
I had surgery about 9 months ago and while I am healing up from that fairly well I am still in pain, and will probably be in some degree of pain for the rest of my life. Also my doctor says that in 10-20 years there is a strong possibility of problems developing above the fusion, or of having arthritis.
I don't feel like it is fair to put anyone else through that, or to stick them with the possibility of having to take care of me.
I would want to do things together like travel, explore, backpack, camp, ski... and so I would want to find someone who would love to do them with me. But if I can't do those thing because of the pain then I wouldn't want to keep them from doing what they love either.
I read in forums about how hard chronic pain is on relationships and marriages and I feel that any relationship I were to have would be doomed before it even started.
Some days it feels like the pain takes everything from me, and I don't see how anyone could love whatever is left behind.