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I'm in pain and need to talk to someone

Mom2fourMMom2four Posts: 8
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:56 AM in Chronic Pain

I have searched for forums and im glad i found this one. I wanted to speak with other people who know how I feel.

I am at a point now i can say I am weak, helpless, paranoid, sad, angry, in chronic pain, and may be in denial.

I am still in the first stages of getting my first xray and MRI done. I am currently going to PT for my lower back and knees.
A few days ago I took a fall onto my tailbone- on top of my already terrible position.

I feel no one understands how much pain I feel.
I dont have friends or family around. Just moved and most family are overseas.

I am so lost as to what to do.

So angry as to why? When I need my strength.

It is very difficult now and sometimes i wish it would all go away or if i wake up another person.

I had a triplet pregnancy that lasted 6 months, i had gained over 80 lbs during that period.
Six months later i got pregnant again.
Now it's been a year since birth of baby 4 and I crawl up the stairs, can't sit for more than a few minutes, cant lift anything more than 20 lbs, cant stand for too long or even lay for too long.

My boys are now 27 months and last one is 12 months.
They aredemanding and life is so hard.

Dad is working and at school

Hope someone out there has a suggestion or comment.


  • Welcome to Spine Health (hugs). You must be both physically and emotionally exhausted. You need to get some help. You are going to have ti start getting direct and specific with your directions/instruction with your friends & family. Explain to them you need their commitment to help you while you figure out your health issue and treatment.
    Your doctor may need to put you on bedrest and explain that you need someone to care for your children for a few weeks while you heal. Talk to your doctor. He/she can help you with explaining this stuff to your family or can recomend someone who can help... You might also want to talk with a pain doctor (if you havent alread).

    Feel better
  • Thank you Julie for your quick reply.

    I currently have a primary care doctor, i see you mentioned pain doctor, i've never heard of that before.

    You mention bedrest, my PT recommends I move around- Seems impossible for me sometimes to do that- at this point what type of doctors do i need to see? Based on your experience.
  • Hi there,

    Sounds like things are a little crazy now. They will get better...maybe not back to normal, but better. Do you have a church or other community group that you can reach out to for help? It sounds as if you could get some help with the babies, it might alleviate some stress (worry) from your shoulders. Even if you talk to your doctor or local hospital to ask what resources are available to mothers of multiples.

    Oh, that reminders me...see if there's a mothers of multiples on-line group or group in your area. My friends belong to them b/c honestly, even healthy, having triplets is a unique challenge.

    As for your health, I agree with Julie. You may want to tell the PT person that you are hurting as much, if not much more, after the sessions. Be honest with him/her so that they can adjust the program for you. You might find they tell you to stop doing PT until you hear back from MRI.

    As for pain...talk to your doctor. At minimum, maybe they can suggest the right over-the-counter medicine. Ibuprofin is a good anti-inflammatory that helps a bit. icing your back can also help.

    In addition, limit your bending, twisting, lifting.
    You say you can't lift more than 20lbs....good, then don't try. Tough I realize with 4 little ones but if they want to be held, have them come climb in your lap when possible. And laundry, well do it but maybe there isn't a need to lift the laundry upstairs...maybe it's ok to fold it and leave it in the laundry area.

    Also, vaccuuming, sweeping, etc....just be careful.

    Just giving you some short term tips.

    You have a lot on your plate. With a family that size, look to community services for help. The local town should have a social service type help for you. Gentle hugs...things will get better.
  • Hi and welcome! I am suprised they even sent you to pt without doing and having the results of the mri or exray. When are you set up for the mri and exray?

    Without having the results of an mri i dont know how they can treat anyone not knowing what the cause is. Let us know,, Good luck
    Flexicore ADR 2004 resulting nerve damage l4l5 Fusion 2006 same level, 2009 hardware removal with lami !
    2012 scs implant ,
  • Welcome to Spine-Health. I think you'll find a lot of support here that you might not be able to get anyplace else because we understand more than anyone what you're going through.

    If you go to church, that might be a good place to start with getting help with your babies. You have so much on your plate that I know it's difficult to carry such a heavy burden by yourself, especially with dad so busy.

    What kind of doctor ordered your x-rays and MRI? Who do you plan on taking the results to? I'd suggest a fellowship-trained spine surgeon, ortho or neuro, but one that only works on spines. Hopefully they can give you interim help, like injections and proper PT, and then a plan of action.

    I know there's not much we can do to help you but we'll be here to talk and answer questions the best we can.

    Take care.
  • Hi and welcome to Spinehealth!! You're definitely in the right place, b/c many of us have had the same or similar feelings at times, and we've all had spinal pain, so we can relate AND we really care. Feel free to vent any time you need to.

    As for starting PT before having the x-rays and MRi, I too would advise you to hold off. MRI is likely to show what x-rays don't show, and a PT treatment for one disease might not be the right one for another. Here's my experience, too: Until last November I'd had x-rays at times but never an MRI, X-rays alone showed a displaced lumbar vertebra (spondylolisthesis), scoliosis and arthritis but no sign of herniated disks, and I thought, "How would exercises improve any of these conditions," so until the MRI was done I didn't keep doing them. The MRI report, which showed three herniated disks as well as the other diseases, sure turned my thinking, a.k.a. motivation to keep up with the exercises, around. I do them every morning, and they've kept my pain at a manageable level, unlike before. Ice helps, too (I use the "Blue Ice" that you freeze and then put in a cooler to keep food and beverages cold).

    We love you! Big but gentle >:D< , Ess
  • Hi there, first off let me tell you I completely feel your pain with the business that kids demand. My children are older, but I have had my two grandchildren ages 1 and almost 3 for the past week and I think I am going to die... My house is dirty, they need something every minute of everyday and I am in so much pain I wanna crawl in bed and not move. Chronic pain is horrible to live with, we just have to figure out how we can do what we want and need to without making it any worse. I am lucky the kids will go home this Tuesday, but to have to do it day in and day out with this pain would be horrible.
    I hope they get you in for your MRI quickly the faster it is done the faster you can feel better, I go to a pain doctor and that is something you should check out, although most pain doctors won't see you until you have been through a bunch of tests and they like you to have a diagnosis.
    I would still push for it just because you need to be able to function as a mom and wife the best you can until you get your condition under control...
    This is a wonderful site with many wonderful people who can give you great advice and support I am glad you found it.
    Message anytime if you need anything or just want to talk ...
  • Hi, As you can tell we all here have gone through and are still going through our own pain issues of the pine and other areas.

    Do you ever feel like just screaming out loud?!Do it!It helps as long as no one calls the police for disturbing or such!You could do other things like ice on your back or heating pad on your knees.Switch them around about every 15 minutes or so.Never fall asleep with them on you, you could burn/freeze your skin.

    Just be careful doing your pt and follow up with your doctor asap.I have been here since 2007 although they changed the forum and it looks like I've been here for 3 years.I try to come on often as I can to help people as I have been helped also.

    I still can not sit for very long or stand but I check in as much as I can.My Neurosurgeon told me to check out this site and I've been here ever since.You will find everyone here is so helpful and kind.

    That's because we are ALL in the same boat or very similar.Hang in there and ask your Doctor and Nurses where you can find help since you are new there.I wish you the best and know you will find help here.

    The more questions you ask: The more answers you receive*
    Gentle hugs to you ~
  • Welcome to spine health. We are so glad that you joined us. Sorry that you have pain that has brought you here.

    I really feel for you, with 4 small babies at home.As others have said, please reach out for help from your community, whether it be from church, multiples groups, or other community associations.

    You have said that you are gong for an xray/mri. Are they going to include your coccyx (tailbone) I suffer from coccyx pain, and finally (after more than a year) have had an MRI done (results next week) On top of back pain, the tailbone causes alot of grief. For sitting, it can be helpful to have a "donut" to sit on or a bubble or gel seat cushion.

    I would also recommend a fellowship trained orthopedic or neurosurgeon. If they recommend injections, you may see a pain management doctor.

    Please keep coming on here for support. We do "get it"

    Big >:D< Karen
    >:D< >:-D< : Karen
    L3-S1 herniation and bulges, stenosis, mod facet,ddd,impinged nerves,coccydinia
    discectomy/lami July 2011-unsuccessful
    adr L5-S1 Feb 2012
  • I can't thank everybody enough for this warm welcome. i feel good already. Thanks for the donut suggestion, that will help.

    My MRI is this wednesday, I'll stop by and do an xray for the coccyx.

    You really made my day.
  • Donut to sit on whattt? Dont you dare sit on my donut! Whats next? Sit on my cofee? Now back off,,,,,,,!
    Flexicore ADR 2004 resulting nerve damage l4l5 Fusion 2006 same level, 2009 hardware removal with lami !
    2012 scs implant ,
  • Hey everybody,

    I got 2 x-rays today, and both came out normal. I am scheduled for an MRI on Friday.

    I am thankful that my tailbone isn't broke, I guess it being "normal" means it isn't fractured or anything is wrong with it.

    I'm still in pain but NOT as bad as 2 days ago.

    My lower back is still in pain though.
  • Hi and welcome! You are at the right place this group is awesome and so supportive! We are all going through some kind of pain that is why we are here! I can imagine the pain you are having with 4 little ones in the house. I pray you will find someone or maybe some kind of services to help you with the kids while you are in pain. My kids are grown but my son his wife and my grandson just moved in with me a month ago while they are looking for a place and he needs attention and holding all day long. I am in so much more pain this last month because if it. Anyway I agree with everyone else I am so surprised you are doing PT before you even have a diagnosis. I just went to PT not too long ago, They are supposed to help relieve the pain but everyday I would leave and be in extreme pain the rest of the night. I was supposed to do PT for 6 weeks and only made it a week before they dismissed me. And now I am having surgery. You need to let them know how extreme your pain is everyday when you are done. If you are not slowly getting better then you might need to stop. Please let us know how your MRI goes on Friday, and again we are so glad you found this group. Prayers are being sent your way!
  • Hi :H :H
    After a multiples pregnancy and then another, have you been evaluated for/ treated for diastasis recti (separation of abdominal wall)?
    It can cause a lot of problems with your back, since your abs are no longer able to support your body.

    I don't know anybody who would be able to keep it together with 4 kids at that age by themselves. :jawdrop: You are in an amazingly challenging situation.

    Does your husband's school provide childcare options? Sometimes schools do and it's more affordable than a private option. something to consider... if you could have a few hours to your self a couple days a week, it just might make a world of difference.

    Good luck with your MRI. As the kids get older, it will get easier. You are really in an exceptional situation. Take any help you can get, any way you can get it. :-)
  • Hi,

    Thanks so much for your reply. I just did a self check for Diastasis Recti, and based on that, I can feel the two halves really close, I can't stick a finger in between, THANK GOD.

    I also just got a call from my (terrible) doctor who seemed in a hurry and she said that I have a FEW herniated discs and she'll send me off to a Neurosurgeon... So I waited for lunch break to pass, just gave her a call now to get exact detailed information on how many and where they're located.

    I'll update as soon as I get a call...
  • Ok my doctor was very nice in not explaining and just reading out what is in the report so someone, please translate what this means:

    L3-L5 annular disc protrusion on L3 and L4 pinching on nerve

    L4, L5 disc extrusion associated with annular tearing
  • Ok my doctor was very nice in not explaining and just reading out what is in the report so someone, please translate what this means:

    L3-L5 annular disc protrusion on L3 and L4 pinching on nerve

    L4, L5 disc extrusion associated with annular tearing
  • http://www.spine-health.com/conditions/herniated-disc/lumbar-herniated-disc

    Hopefully your Dr. will send you to an Orthopedic Surgeon and a Neurologist for an EMG/nerve test if you're having numbness in your leg and foot. Check the Dermatome map to see if your sciatica matches up with the nerves. I'm going to PM you another place I found helpful to describe. Take care and hope you see your Dr. soon for referrals. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • I'm sorry to hear you are going through all of this with 4 small children. I am also a young mom with 3 children - ages 10, 3, and 20 months - so I can totally relate. I had my first spine surgery this past July and am likely facing another surgery in the next few months. I can totally relate to the pain and exhaustion of having children to care for, while dealing with back pain.

    My problems are with my thoracic spine, and every day is a constant battle. Some days I feel like a terrible mother and wife, because I can't do the things that most 29-year old moms can do. This should be the prime of my life, yet I'm having to undergo spine surgery and deal with chronic illnesses.

    I'm glad that you were able to have the MRI done and now know there IS a cause for your symptoms. I remember when my doctor called and told me I had significant DDD and multiple herniated discs, I almost felt a sense of relief. I was, of course, terrified for what the future held, especially since I am a nurse and I was unable to work after I injured my back. However, I felt relieved to know that the pain I was experiencing was NOT in my head. I was out of work for 10 months and have since returned in a different position.

    In any case, I hope you are able to get in to see the NS soon and find out what your options are. Keep us posted!
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