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pain & depression

maxmismmaxmis Posts: 5
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:59 AM in Depression and Coping
I had a wreck dec 2009 i finally had surgery dec 10, 2011. Fused l4,l5 s1 plates screws bone it was a 360. I am home u had neuropathy in the left leg on it in both. My hubbyhas been GREAT he stayed all week @ the hospital, has taken awesome care of me @ home but my depression is off the charts i dont even want to leave the house which is causin major arguments with the hubby. I rarely leave my room. And the pain from the surgery is better the pain in the legs are worse than ever i dont know what to do. He doesnt even want to speak to me right know he is in the family room watching tv im in bed just layin in the dark. Am i alone?


  • Hi Maxmis,
    You just had major surgery weeks ago. I wouldn't want to go out much, not yet.
    Some docs have you were a brace, are you, and what has your doc said how often to walk. This is some really important info. You have to walk, and listen to your surgeons instruction.
    I had L4,l5 fusion back in 06, and each day I set my goals and I kept a log, now for me I needed visual, like post its around, so as I would not reach nor bend forward.

    If you are not in a lot of pain. I would say call your doc and let them know you are not in screaming pain but you are depressed.
    People even our spouses do not understand, it sounds like you have a good support system, talk to your hubby, and depression is for sure a big thing we have to deal with, due to pain, and especially after surgery
    I felt very alone, I wish had found this site when I went thru mine,
    I am here if you want to ever chat. let me know a good time for you and I will meet you in the chat room.
    Please express to your hubby what your feeling,
    I made the mistake of keeping mine all to myself, and I stayed in my room alone.
    I prayed alot and then I just started to walk, kept a journal what I did each day, and goals for the next day.
    Your so new outta surgery don't be hard on yourself.
    And most of all don't worry right now what he is going thru, you have to do this at your own pass.

    hugs hugs you will get thru this,
    read some other great post, and how others did after there surgeries,

    neck,bone spurs pain started 04, back issues and fusion l4,l5 06~hardware removed.
    good few yrs. 09 pain sharp, numbness feet,legs, diagnosed fibro, neurop. legs.lung issues.
    daily goal do good thing for someone.
  • Last month I was also suffering from Leg pain. I was very much depressed but after surgery now I am feeling better. My leg pain is also decrease. I had take 1 month complete bed rest. Hope, it will not come again.
  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 5,476
    ...not easy. In fact, I hear they are difficult if both parties are pain free, also.

    For me, I know I have a difficult time understanding the unpredictability of the life with pain... and it's happening to me.

    Possibly, your husband had higher expectations of healing.. after the surgery and is very disappointed..probably most disappointed for you and that you are still suffering.

    When we share what's going on with us..pain.. surgery ...whatever, there's a greater chance of better understanding and improved relationship.

    Personally, without communication...I've not heard of any relationships thriving.

    I think we deal with the pain and it takes a lot of concentration to feel like we have some control over it. For myself, it takes energy to have those discussions...but I think it's on me to let loved ones share in my life as I want to share in theirs and also how they are managing with me..as there is no denying that my daily pain and disability has complicate things.

    Maybe there will be no meeting of the minds...but the odds are better if we talk.
    Spine-Health Moderator
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

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