First, pardon my typing as I'm not sure what I'm doing because I'm at a huge loss. I need to vent to you please.
My best friend, Melinda, passed away on Sunday after a massive something - they're not sure, maybe a heart attack but because whe was found so blue and contorted, we suspect a stroke. She was only going to be 56 on Saturday.
She'd had a physical, mammogram and colonoscopy within the past year and only had high blood pressure, which she was taking meds for. She was a heavy drinker and smoker though, but her doctor knew that and we don't know if that contributed to her death - probably. But she really did seem healthy and happy. I'd just talked to her a couple of days ago and emailed extensively to her on Friday.
The story: Her boyfriend, Jim, had talked to her by phone at 9am and they planned to take showers and he'd come get her before 10 to go have breakfast. He got there at 9:45 and after no answer at the door or her phone, he broke into her house and found her face down on the bed, obviously having taken her shower, already done her hair and was getting dressed. When he rolled her over she was severely contorted, face and hands, blue and not breathing. He put her on the floor an started CPR - he broke her chest bone trying while EMTs were enroute, but to no reaction or avail. He said after his CPR she had more color, but I only think it was because he got some blood flowing, but she was already gone. He feels guilty because he slapped her, trying to wake her up, a normal action and reaction.
Minutes after getting to the hospital, she was pronounced dead. He called me from her house while EMTs were on the way, hysterical, and we hubby and I met him at the hospital. He was so out of it we had to guide him through the hospital to the bathroom and once outside, had to keep him out of traffic.
He had such a bad picture of her in is mind from how she looked when he found her in the house and couldn't get it out of his mind. After a bit after hubby and I got to the hospital, they asked if we'd like to see her and I of course said yes, but both of them said no. I went and spent about 10 minutes with her, although of course, she was already long gone. I got to hold and kiss her. But she looked peaceful and they made her look good so I told Jim to come see her so maybe his last picture of her wasn't what he saw in the bedroom, but the peacefulness she showed in the hospital. He came to see her, kissed her goodbye and felt a little better.
He doesn't have a lot of close friends and they'd just made plans to work on retiring and moving to Hawaii, her favorite place in the entire world. He makes good money and they thought once they moved in together and pooled their money, it wouldn't be long before they could do it.
She was the most outgoing, loving and thoughtful person I knew and after my lumbar surgery and long aterward, she would offer to come get me to go shopping, to lunch and to the movies, even though she lived a bit out of my area. Man, she loved my handicap tag. :-). She was one of those friends that always understood my problems and never complained or was bothered about it or my need for medications. She always was there for me. She was the kind of person that could be in a crowd of people and they'd all gravitate torward her because she was so kind and would talk to and treat everyone with such respect and kindness.
I talked with her every day and will deeply and sorely miss her. I can't sleep for thinkng of her and how my life will be so empty without her. God works in mysterious ways, and this is truly one of the most mysterious. Why he called her home I'll never know - I didn't think it was time yet. In our gathering today, it was said that she's under a palm tree, drinkng a MaiTai and thumbing her nost at us - she hated her job and is now where she wants to be. Just couldn't wait, could she?
I have too many wonderful stories to tell here, but she was one heck of great woman.
Love your friends and loved ones now. Tell them. Hug and kiss them if you can. You never know. Like the "Eagles" sang - "In a New York Minute Everything Can Change" - ain't that the truth. Lord help those that love her. A large part of me is gone forever and will never be replaced. God help me, I miss her deeply and always will.