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can cope cant cope!

welshladywwelshlady Posts: 121
edited 06/11/2012 - 9:02 AM in New Member Introductions
after reading some posts on here yesterday i felt lifted, but yet another day and i can see my condition worsening so swiftly now, i wonder how i will be at point of op and have been warned that because of age there is no guarantee that i will be better than condition at point of surgery as spinal chord unforgiving, surgery just to prevent paralysis. if i have to be in this pain and this useless i am not sure i want it, then i feel guilty for having such thoughts. even condidered that not making it through the op might not be a bad outcome...and i have so much to live for,i cant even make sense of myself at the moment. a dark day.


  • Just try to stay positive, When things are at there worse things will be slightly start looking up slowly,

    If surgery is needed then have to go in to it positive and know might be long healing bit it will get beter,

    We all have hit a low point with this suffering and had dark thoughts when things are bad, None of us are what we were and never will be again, But we all have some purpose on earth and change is hard but we find the strength to keep moving foreward for we only have this 1 life to live,

    We fight for many things in our lifetime even when its meaningless, So for we were given this 1 life its worth fighting for and we dont let people who might be negative in our life bring us down,

    Pain can bring out a lot of emotions we would normaly not have or would not bother us much, We will always have our ups and downs but we live for the beter days to come no mater how small of pleasure we may find in our life,

    Hang in there and best of luck with surgery, 1 step at a time! You cant keep thinking what if this hapens and what if that hapens,

    The day we were born if we would of been able to think how am i going to make it in this crazy world and stress out over it we be on antidepressents by the age of 2.

    You live day by day and you cant change what you have no control over, Each day of positive thoughts will bring positive results in your life,

    Best wishes and keep us updated, You will find much suport here so you are not alone!
    Flexicore ADR 2004 resulting nerve damage l4l5 Fusion 2006 same level, 2009 hardware removal with lami !
    2012 scs implant ,
  • thanks for your wise words, of course i know you are right, and most of the time i do hold on to any positive i can, think i will be better after surgery as hopefully thats an upward struggle to health, at the moment it feels like i am running towards somthing that is really fearful a huge black steep mountain and i struggle to even see the top of the mountain i have to climb. but i really appreciate your support, i am not sure if i could ever be brave enough to face surgery on it a second time like you! i am guessing it is out of desperation. thanks
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