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I want my life back...

I am only 24 and haven't even been in this situation for 2 years in December...trying to find the hope in things but it's so difficult sometimes.

Guess I still have it better than some. No surgeries (yet at least, not even much of a diagnosis as far as I'm concerned), I still work a full-time job (has been in jeopardy a time or two from missing so much work), I can still drive/travel (when I have the motivation/energy)...

but I miss what life used to be. :(( I miss playing basketball for hours upon hours. I was invited to play at a few different colleges just a few years ago, and I can still spin a basketball on my finger, quite well too. What I miss is being able to do the things that young people are supposed to do. I'm not supposed to feel like this...it just isn't fair. What did I do to deserve this???

It brings me to the brink of tears often and I can't help but think/feel that my life is over :( and I can't help but think that if I could just go back and make a few different decisions in my life...

I know that I am not "supposed to" feel this way. I just feel like a total failure, worthless :(


  • BkinsBBkins Posts: 364
    edited 10/17/2012 - 10:13 AM
    think that there are a lot of members that could of written your post minus the part about basketball. A lot of us have had life taken from us. From where you are I would say not to give up hope as once you have given up the spine has won and we can't let that happen. You are in a better spot then a lot here in that you have not had to have surgery yet.

    All I can tell you going onward is to protect your back and even though at some point in the future you may be feeling better always do things with idea that you are protecting your back otherwise it can be a real slipperly slope to be on.

    You are young but the rest of us that are not all have a lot of things we want to do also. Just because you age doesn't mean you stop wanting to do stuff and the older you get the more financial freedom you have to do so, at least some of us.

    Good luck going forward and remember to protect your back.
  • Sarah32004SSarah32004 Posts: 10
    edited 10/17/2012 - 7:45 AM
    I haven't had surgery yet. But grimly at this rate I will more than catch up to/surpass many of you... The majority of back pain suffering is due to age... And right now even the one thing on my side has betrayed me. I have a much longer trip downhill than most...And my heart/soul is already feeling the toll...
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,875
    are living with the unknown. As you stated no formal diagnosis....Without that how can anyone figure out what the next step can be?

    It could be surgery, it could be conservative treatments, ??

    That is the first thing I would want to isolate.... What exactly is your problem and what does the medical field recommend

    How can you get your life back if you really dont know what your life is right now....

    And so you know, surgery isnt the worse thing for spinal patients. I often tell members, especially younger ones. Sucess for spinal surgery can greatly be increased because of 1- Age 2- In better shape than lets say someone at 50 and 3- More endurance and rebound ability
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Send me to specialists. Then after a while the specialists say that there isn't any more that they can do for me and they have no idea why I am still in pain
  • Sorry Sarah. I truly know how you feel. I am 25 years old and have had chronic pain since I was about 19.
    ACDF C4-5 June 23rd, 2011

    Another surgery in the near future. I am 26 years old.

    Current Meds- Norco 7.5/325, Cymbalta 60mg, Gabapentin, Adderall 20mg
  • sorry to hear of your symtons sarah i too want my life back ive been off work 6months and dont see it clear at the moment either the pain is very bad ,
    helen t
  • Leyla0101LLeyla0101 Posts: 3
    edited 02/11/2013 - 10:30 AM
    I'm also 24 and have had a herniated disc since I was 20. It sucks to have to ask your 65 year-old boss do your filing for you (thankfully she's willing) or, during a bad spell, have your friends or significant other do pretty much all of the cooking, cleaning, shopping, AND helping you with all things involving your inconveniently far away feet. It makes finding a job sooo much more difficult for Millenials who are starting out at the grunt work end of the totem pole. And it makes me wonder if I'll even find a willing surgeon so I can get my back fixed before I have kids. (They keep telling me I'm too young and my discomfort isn't an urgent enough reason to operate.)

    My mom is retiring in June so I'm about to have an insurance nightmare to deal with and my boyfriend and I are moving in together, so he's as stressed about it as I am. I am so, so lucky in so many ways (especially when it comes to him), but some days I just feel like a burden. One that a lot of the friends I had when I got hurt couldn't bear.

    I too just want it all to go away: the pain, the problems sleeping, the living like a 90 year-old, the skepticism from people who don't understand that I really can't/shouldn't do a lot of things that I look capable of, etc.

    Hang in there!
  • don't worry.not only you, many young people suffering from this.so try to do your work and be happy.
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