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Bob in the Forest - Thread Where am I and how - Part II

dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,859
edited 02/13/2013 - 3:46 AM in Good News
Where am I and how did I get here, things were so good before. Part II

The original thread was getting too large for easy navigation. That thread was locked, so all new posts should start here.
Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com


  • Yes, that did take lots of scrolling!

    Bob - it's cold and clear here tonight too. The moon is totally amazing this evening! They're saying it's possible we'll get some snow tomorrow night, but I thought we were supposed to be in a dry period, so I'll be surprised if it rains here.

    Stay warm!
    3 level spinal fusion, L3/4, L4/5, L5/S1, November 2008. Stiff, but I can walk.
  • Thanks Ron for starting this thread and locking the old one. It was waaaaaay too long to navigate so I gave up. Now I can easily see Bob's posts again.

    Hi Bob! Keep us updated as always. We learn a lot from you and enjoy your blog/links.

  • So much easier to navigate.

    Bob's experiences with his furry family are so enjoyable and enrich his life, and I guess they also help him cope with his pain.


    XLIF L2-4 20.8.15
    ALIF L4/5 2009
    Laminectomy/discectomy L4/5 2008
  • It's nice to find a forum that others can realte to! I had a disectomy in 01, spinal fusion L4-L5 in 03. I have been suffering from Failed Back Syndrome for several years now. I can't have any more epidurals due to blockage in my spinal canal. Luckily I have a good pain management Dr. but that doesn't stop my pain! I take a lot of meds and antidepressants! My fain Dr. has encouraged me to swim and go to a spin (cycling) class. some times I go crying due to such pain but seem to feel much better when I finish. I have to adapt to the class with now ot no tension and no standing. It is a good exercise outing for me! I have had a cleaning business since I was 18 yrs old and am now 54. I still work by myself working part time. My husband and I have drifted apart! I have had to work because his business has now put us into bankruptsy soon. we will loose our house and I am not able to pack it up! I am extermely depressed and didn't think there was any one out there that could listen or understand how I feel. I am so excited to be a new member of this group!
  • Hi and welcome to our family even though I wish you didnt need to be here. You may get more responses if you introduce yourself under the Welcome forum and give us your story:) Glad you are here and am looking forward to reading more.

  • I had to find out where this was because this page isn't setup like the last page was setup and it mailed me everything some one posted me. I was afraid of that having to start over. This is a continuation from my original page.
    So is you got lost I'll try to email you from the links I gathered from the other page pointing to here. I do have my email address listed here and the admin should have had the courtesy to point out what they did and used my name. Be nice to edit this first page and get rid of the junk that' not mine and make a proper cover letter but this will have to do.

    So all my friend from Where am I and How did I get here is now here. I'll be covering my progress as I recover from my major surgery and all my down falls, pit falls, stress and depression that I'm dealing with. It's all the stuff your going through also.

    My depression this year isn't as bad as last year at this time. Then I didn't care and felt like like was hopeless. I sent a ltter to the President and he responded with more help then I thought he would. I'm not sure but I think there was a couple guys watching the house from high on the hill looking through the forest. He also contacted a crisis hot line thinking I was ready to call it quiets by the tone of the letter. I know I was deeply depressed. The hot line called me up to find out my state of mind. My state of mind wasn't doing so well then. I found myself breaking down crying at minor things that weren't very important. That would happen watching movies or TV and I'd key off something. I talked to the crisis hot line for about 45 minutes.

    I had my meds changed around and they seem to be holding me together. I do find myself staring off into the distance with the TV on but nothing is registering like the TV wasn't even on. I'll be thinking about something but when I snapped out of the long stair I can't remember what I was thinking about.

    My knee is giving me problems and walking is no fun. Even with the braces on my times limited. I'll get a couple good hours being upright before the back will start aching causing me to lean over. I'll put myself upright standing in the door way. It's an odd pain, a droning pain that increases to the point I feel like I'm going to pass out I'm that light headed. I'll stand there until I can't stand it know more.

    I can't straighten my right leg straight. I get so far and it stops with a grip of pain.The surgery on my knee really didn't do anything amazing. I noticed on the report they gave me of what they did during surgery. They drilled holes to spur on growth. Suppose to make the joint more better but I haven't notice any improvement. That's like my hand surgery where they took a bone out and used a tendon rolled up stuck in it's place. That turned my thumb into a finger. I'm left handed so my ability to do art is gone. Almost 50 years of painting and doing pen and ink is all gone. I can't do calligraphy any more. I took my college notes in calligraphy. All that practice made me pretty good where I could write like I was writing normal and it was calligraphy. I practice drawing circles and lines but they don't look good. I don't get the fantastic writing I used to do. Drawing blue prints, drafting looks like a child did it. I was doing college lever drafting in 5th grade.

    The bone doctor that did my knee and hand pointed out on my last MRI that the screws going into my hips are loose. I'll get lit up if it bites me real good. For the most part I'll feel the the screw move and muscle get hooks on the screw or something. It's not as bad on the right side. Both sides will give me a big bite where I'll feel it to the upper part of my surgery.

    I have some new babies under the bathroom. They must have a nest there. I've seen hand fulls of pine needle at the entrance of the hole going under the house. I hear the babies crying out when mom goes to get something to eat. I sit on the floor singing down to them to calm them down.

    The porch light is on. Sprout triggered the light and she is eating cat food. Her daughter is out my the fence being shy. After mom leave she will wait on the cedar fence watching the baby come up. The foxes have a real unique bark, it's like nothing else. It's amazing that they know their names except for the baby who I haven't given a name yet other then baby.

    Moyers and Company is on PBS. I missed it over the weekend. Guess I'll try to slow down and get to bed.

    I missed a lot last week because of the cold. I was 25 to 28 degrees at night. During the day time it was 40 to 42 degrees. Working with my hands and wrenches didn't work so well. I brought a space heater out but unless you were right in front of the fan part you wouldn't feel anything. I didn't last too long outside. Hours later my hands were still frozen.

    I didn't know I was in a Rut

  • I can just see you singing to the baby animals. LOL. that's so cute! Sorry to hear knee surgery didn;t help but hope with time improves. See you around will keep in touch via email. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • Hi Bob, I think we may have had the same knee procedure done. I had a microfracture surgery done on my knee on Jan.18 and during the surgery they went in and made small holes to produce a superclot which would hopefully produce new cartilage to cover the area that was severely damaged by arthritis. I am on crutches for 6-8 wks. and no weight on knee at all. Surgeon said it could take from 6 -12 months to heal and then if it does culd have to be repeated in a few yrs. He said this is only other thing besides replacement that they could do.

    I hope you are doing well after surgery. How far into recovery are you? I love reading your posts and hope you are able to post more now that surgery is over.

  • When I was in the hospital having surgery, there was another person in the room. he had a bad accident and wasn't going to make it. The left side of his body was gone. They never fed him or he never had to go to the bathroom because nothing was there. When they told him he was going to die he cried for three days solid. I'm still haunted by that mans crying.

    I've been listening to the radio and for the last two days it seems like it's been nothing but war. Now I'm thinking of all the people I've known who died in war. I'm thinking about my limitations. How will I be when it's time to go. Don't think I'm worried about being dead it's leading up to that. ill there be anyone or will I die alone. what happens if my mind goes and I need to be taken care off. As it is I'm sharp now but it's so hard to do things like I used to.

    Walking is just so annoying. I hate walking with this lean. I'll stand in the doorway and push myself up. I'll stand there getting light headed.I don't know what direction I'm going. I don't feel secure right now. I don't know what I'm suppose to feel. How I'm suppose to feel. Well this is a cold day and I'm blue.
  • Bob! I feel your sadness....I feel the same sadness. I hurt and I am tired. Your posts always make me smile. So remember you help so many of us, even when you are blue. I wish we lived closer. I would come and visit you. Would love to watch all the babies. I am currently working on staying out of my stinking thinking....I know its depression logically and I will not let it get me again...got me at the first of the year and I have decided that I used my shitty disposition card for the year! I hope this is your one shitty disposition card for 2013 as well. Keep writing Bob....and not sure if it matters, but know that there are people that care all over this country...oh how I wish we could connect in real time....some of us need that sometimes! Take care, Bob and Peace to you my friend, Ellen
    3 level fusion L3-S1 July 23, 2012
  • Bob in the forestBBob in the forest Posts: 287
    edited 02/05/2013 - 4:22 AM
    My vet friends stopped by and dropped off 7 cases of cat food. So cool. She said she might drop off more like another seven cases. Now to figure out why Sprockets is chasing off Tiggers and Momma Kitty is chasing off big gray kitty.

    Think I'm running out of propane. Need to call and get topped off. Well, got 30% in the tank so I'm good. For a minute I was wondering if I was going to run out today. I was getting a yellow flame like it was low pressure.

    Post edited to remove forum violation
  • You are a mess, especially with that freezing weather. Sorry you've been feeling worse than "normal" and I hope once the warmer weather comes, you won't hurt as much and some of the depression will lift. You have an amazing rapport with your furry family and I would think they help you to keep going.

    It's very hot here in Western Australia. We've had some heatwaves and today should get up to 36C, with 39C for Saturday and Sunday. At least it's clear heat. I get up at around 5.30 am to take Molly dog out for her walk down by the river and it's so beautiful there and there's lots of birds to see. The kookaburras have come back - this time with two big babies, which look like males. They sit on my rotary hoist several times a day asking for food and the noise is so loud - not sure what the neighbours think.

    Take care Bob


    XLIF L2-4 20.8.15
    ALIF L4/5 2009
    Laminectomy/discectomy L4/5 2008
  • It's good to see you back here. This winter does seem to be a difficult one for pain. It's been cold and damp and I think that's the worst condition for activating pain in metal rods and screws in our spines. I'm so glad to hear that your friends came to visit and brought cat food! You spend a lot of your income being kind to the animals. I know you receive a lot of love from them in return, but it's surely nice to have some help with the expense.

    Keep warm and give the kitties a pat for me when you can.
    3 level spinal fusion, L3/4, L4/5, L5/S1, November 2008. Stiff, but I can walk.
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,859
    Once again, the author insists on bringing politics into the posts. This is a clear violation of Forum rules. There is no discussion of politics permitted.

    If this does happen once again, this thread will be closed.

    Please keep this thread going the way it was intended to.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • When people drink they loose there emotions. They don't have compassion for others. They do hurtful things and think nothing of it. Name calling is one of the biggest things they do because they think they can make others look bad and them look good. It just amazes me how people can drink and cast blame on others. Some people get to their limit of advancements in their life and turn to drinking because they don't like looking at themselves, so they take it out on other.
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,859
    edited 02/08/2013 - 12:44 PM
    and I haven't come up with any references to drinking/not drinking what it does, etc. Bob, perhaps you can tell me what message your post was trying to get across.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • But then again, Ron, I've been following this thread and don't recall anything political that Bob said in his post. He talked about friends who were veterans who had served and he missed them and was depressed, but I don't think he said, 'Gee Obama's great' or 'I really wish Mitt had won.' I think he was just talking about missing his friends. Is that wrong? Aren't we supposed to support one another through this depressive state?
    3 level spinal fusion, L3/4, L4/5, L5/S1, November 2008. Stiff, but I can walk.
  • I didnt see anything about politics or drinking???? I am confused

  • that is what post 16 is all about. Perhaps bob will answer Ron's question about the meaning of bob's post 16 to shed some light. Perhaps you did not see the political posts because they were removed before you saw them?
  • I meant the meaning of the post about the drinking. I saw post 16 but was out of place and nothing anywhere else that referred to drinking. After reading Bob's posts over these many months this one just seemed out of place and that is why I was confused!!!
  • it has everyone confused cause nothing had ever been mentioned about alchohol??
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,859
    I am confused about Bob's post about alcohol. Hopefully, he will address that.
    As far as politics. There were several statement made in some of his posts that needed to be removed.
    Forum rules point out directly, that discussing politics is a violation.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,859
    Based on several requests/complaints, I am moving this thread over to Good News.
    Reviewing this thread, the merits for staying in the Chronic Pain category are diminished.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • For some people, the stress and depression resulting from chronic pain can become consuming, and can even worsen and prolong the pain. Increased pain can, in turn, lead to increased stress and depression, creating a cycle of depression and pain that can be difficult to overcome. Studies have also shown that depression can lead to chronic pain adding another layer of complexity to these conditions.

    Pain can come in many flavors. I've been scanning slides my father took back in the 40's, 50's and early 60's. My cousin David was in full dress Marine uniform. He died in 1964 on his forth tour in Vietnam. He was some one I looked up to and he was great with the smaller kids. He never turned you away. We moved to Orange County in 1964 from Michigan. My Mother and Father believed in helping the troop that couldn't make it home for the holidays and would check out a couple Marines from the base for a home cooked meal. I think they had 72 hour pass. So they stayed with us. We would drive them back to the base and they were real grateful for the dinners and hospitality. You might say my older brother started us doing this when he brought a friend home for the winter holiday because he didn't have enough time to fly to Hawaii and back to Texas. So they came to the house in Michigan. Arnold's mother was so grateful she would send us stuff. My mother kept in touch with the family over the year. When Arnolds sister got married we went to Hawaii for a couple week back in the winter of 1968. I also came across pictures of David's sister Sandy. She was a year younger then me. Since David was based out her the family came out to visit and decided to move here. My mom would stay in contact with her sister Babe. My mom was really good at writing letters and staying in contact with people. Slowly all the kids as they got older and on their own decided to move back to Michigan except for Tom who was a year older them me. Sandy was married and divorced and had three kids. She was doing pretty good for herself. She was working second shift so she could see the kids during the day. The kids were all going to school so she just saw them for dinner before going to work. One day her ex-husband came over and was hiding in the bushes as she came driving up after work. He confronted her about his bad credit score because he and his new wife wanted to by a house and couldn't because of child support. He pulled out a shot gun and shot Sandy in the back as she was running way. She fell to the ground. He came over and then shot her in the head killing her. Then use used the shot gun on himself. If he was sober that night he may have not have killed Sandy. He wasn't though, drinking changes a persons thoughts and reasoning where he thought this was the only way to solve this problem. His new wife and children are going to grow up without a father. Sandy's kids were taken in by her sister Judy which was really nice but they will have to remember what happened to their mother and how alcohol played a part in this story. I've got a few stories how alcohol effected me and my life but for now remembering Sandy is hard enough for now.
  • Bob in the forestBBob in the forest Posts: 287
    edited 03/11/2013 - 8:09 PM
    Was the summer of 1960. XXXXXXXXX wanted us to see this guy running for an election. I didn't care but I liked the carnival rides and games. We drove across the state to see Tom and the family. Tom was an engineer for Ford and lived just outside of Detroit in Southland. One thing about going to an election campaign when your 6 everyone else if taller then you. For the most part it wasn't very exciting until he arrived. Everyone ran over to this area that was roped off. He was walking down the center shaking peoples hands. My father pushed my arm out into the mass of hands. He stopped and bent over to shake my hand and said, here's a future democrat. and shook my hand. Wasn't till later did I find out he had a bad back like I do so bending over to shake my hand was hard for him but he liked kids. My back problems wouldn't start until I was in my mid thirties. He like my father went through a lot during World War II. He was on a PT boat and my father was on a bomber. Both leave you for a period out by yourself like the world turned it's back on you and you fell into a portion of hell. A couple years later I was in forth grade when a nun came rushing in saying the president had been shot. An emptiness fell inside of me, it was the guy that shook my hand, it was President John Fitzgerald Kennedy. It was only a few years that I knew of this man but his speeches have all touched me through out my life.

    Post edited to remove inappropriate phrase - Thread has been flagged as offensive
  • I sort of thought this would happen splitting up this segment thing I started. You don't look back at the other posts because it's locked and might as well not even be here. So you can look up something I referenced here because your limited to this. I guess you could open two windows, one with this post and one with the old posts. I thought this would be like a book but now it's in two parts and now I see it's been made into three parts. No one knows where to look to find my latest post. I guess it really throws you a curve when the headline and author are two different items not related to each other.

    I guess the only way to make Bob of the forest Part II Living with my back. It's been two years since surgery and I'm walking with a lean. I've noticed that different shoes help me stand upright better. I've been stretching in the doorway. I can push my arms against the door jam and push myself up. I have a fainting feeling when I do that. It's not to painful. As I was rinsing dishes out tonight I watched the clock to see how long I could stand before I started fading. Was about 8 minutes before I started leaning more and more. I started to depend more and more on the counter to hold me up. I had to stop and rest. I've got to get the dish washer filled sooner or later. I want to get it going tonight. So many day I end up stopping to rest. I want to keep going but can't. That weight lifting adage, No pain No gain doesn't work because that pain can be damaging and not building muscles. I am lifting weights while watching movies. I'm going to try to do a low impact weight lifting. I'll get my arms going with the weights. Can't do much because of my knee which makes such loud noises. I need to do a modified sit up and push ups to get my abdomen tuned up. I was going through a book online the last couple days. I'm sitting funky so I can see with my tri-focals. Then it starts, that nail in the neck. It's a real sharp pain in my neck. I've been scanning slides and going between computers. The one computer is setup for scanning slides and scan with the HP flat bed that does 6"x6" transparencies. This computer is setup for a few other things. The scanner driver doesn't work with this computer. Well, that's okay I have the one with Windows XP that works.I've got to get healthier and more movement to my body. I know I'm not going to be able to run like I used to. Would be great if I could do 5 miles a day again. I don't see that happening. I don't see sit up happening either. My back is fused too much. It goes from my hips to my shoulder blades. Facing all these dilemmas is real depressing. I'm taking a couple things for the depression. The meds are causing me to gain weight. So, I can either stop them or work out. I'm going to see if I can cut the dose in half and see how that works. I heard about this way of curing depression by taking this chemical that's used to knock you out. It causes new pathways to be formed. That's the opposite of what's happening when your depressed. I wonder if that can be used in cases of Alzheimer. Getting new pathways should work with people who are loosing pathways.

    I'm training my little buddies with little its of cheese. I get them to come over and scratch at the door threshold which tells me they are calling. Then I'll open the door, they stick their little heads in. I'll hand them a small piece of cheese. I'm starting to get the raccoons to do this also. I'm spending about five to six hours every night working with them. They are so meek the way they look up at me. Then after they get the cheese they trot away with their head up.

    Well finish this, then go scan slides. I should start a new section using my name so people will know where to look. I didn't get and feed back from writing here. Well, no one knows where this is. If I start a post with my name then people will find it. I'll also include something like, "Bob in the forest, Part II, How did I get here." That looks like a name that everyone can find. It will sound like it's a real part two and continuation of part one. Plus it's going to have my name on it.

    This time change and lack of sleep has got me beat. Maybe I'll get a response to this post.

  • Hi Bob, I am so glad to see you posting again. Believe me there were some of us who tried to get them to leave your posts where they were but alas they didn't listen to us :( My heart was broken when I read your last couple of posts. I can't imagine expereinceing what you did. We all have things from our pasts that change the way we see the world and how we deal with people including me :( I found your posts with no problem and think that the others who regularly folllow you will also.

    I love reading about the wildlife and how you have bonded with them. I know things have changed here on SH but ask that you please keep sending your stories for us to experience a little of your life. You have been an inspiration to me and I love reading about your life in the woods. Just hang in there.

  • Bob, I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy reading your posts

    ...please keep them coming, and I hope you're feeling okay
  • Bob in the forestBBob in the forest Posts: 287
    edited 03/28/2013 - 8:07 PM
    Not much on TV tonight unless you into sports. I liked doing them not watching them. Today's been a write off. I slept too long and when I did get up I turn the radio on and laid down on the heating pad to listen. I really didn't feel like moving. Finally I got up and started making cups of espresso. After 2 12 ounce coffees I felt a little bit like moving so I had one more cup. I fired up the computers and have been going between them scanning on one and watching videos on the other. The past few days I've been transferring video tape to the computer. I've posted 5 cute video on YouTube. I found a bunch more I want to post. Still need to make back up discs of the video tapes.

    Saw my gimpy skunk that's limping around and gave him a piece of high energy cheese and some good cat food. I got a box of samples from the feed store. They treat me pretty good there and help me with the big bags and loading the car. I still need to bring the bags up to the house. My back is holding up real well picking up a 40 pound bag.

    I just stepped out to see if the foxes were here. They show up at 9pm. One was here and I gave her a slice of cheese. When I came out again my raccoon buddy walked up to me for the piece of cheese I had in m hand. I bent down and gave it to her and she took it with her little hand and put it in her mouth to walk off and eat in safety.

    One of my raccoon buddies had it's tail bit off. That's a heck of a way of getting away from danger. She's on the porch with three other skunks eating cat food. Wish I had some cookies or fig newtons to give them. The raccoons like them better then the skunks. The skunks eat the outside of the fig newton and leave the inside for the raccoons.

    Last night was pasta night. I made extra noodle and put out to pie pans with pasta in them. Everyone even the foxes like buttered noodles with cheese on them. It's so cute watching them and that take my mind of any pains I have until I stand up and walk.

    I've been working with the skunks and raccoons getting them to take a treat from my fingers. I've got three off the skunks trained to knock at the front door and i'll hand them a treat. If I don't have anything I'll go to the kitchen to get some cut up cheese. They wait for me right at the door until I come back. Since I've been doing this it's easier to walk through a lot of skunks on the porch. They aren't surprised and just continue to eat the cat food. Before they would stomp their feet and run off but only a couple run off now. The ones that run off turn around when they hear my voice and come back.

    I had six female deer here as night was falling. It was early evening and still a little light out. The deer are having a good time trimming the trees and grass since everything is growing so night. I need to turn my mulch pile and take some of the bottom stuff over to several apple and peach trees. The bottom stuff is full of fungus that helps the trees grow. I'll top it off with some steer manure. One tree I need to get some dirt for because it fell over a few years ago and I had to get the roots going again and tie the tree off to other trees to hold it in place. It's really doing well now but still needs work. You need to work on the trees to keep them healthy. I'm starting to run the lawn mower around the place. It's going to take a few week before that's done.

    There's the Puppy Girl and I threw her a piece of cheese. I can tell it's her because she always waits at the end of the walkway. Spout her daughter comes right up to the porch and to me. They are so amazing how they sit and wait for me to come out. They get here and just sit and wait. They don't bother anyone but sit there waiting. They do this every night. There's a younger pup Puppy Girls daughter from this year and is about has the size. So when Puppy girl gets the cheese her baby follows her and they split it up. She just at the age where mom is teaching the baby how to get food. They don't see any other humans so there's a lot of trust they have in me. It's amazing how they can take voice and hand gestures to find the cheese I tossed to them.

    Working with the skunks and raccoons the kitties want to get involved. So as I'm handing a piece of cheese the kitties are right there so it almost looks like they are handing it to them. Now the skunks don't stomp their feet at the skunks but go on eating and the kitties walk by.

    Well going to post this and get back to swapping computers and scanning. I think I'll put on a Netflix movie. I've been watching a couple movies a night on average. The TV shows they have on there I like it watching them without ads and I can see the next episode right away. I've watch some stuff from Sci-Fi Channel which was all right but they ended. Have a doctors appointment tomorrow to keep my mind from exploding. See how that goes helping with my stress.

  • When people got to AA its' not to learn how to drink but learn it live, sober. They talk about their past, present and future hopes. By hearing how others did it they learn how to do it too. But life isn't just AA, you need to learn about living life so other won't have to hold your hand.

    Same thing here. As you start off after surgery you expand your horizons or at least that is what your suppose to do. Just listening to people in pain all the time is depressing. When you try new things your growing and recovering and you need to share that because what good is it having a forum with no growth. Like Bill W. said it take one alcoholic talking to another for the program to work. Same with a forum that is suppose to be about health. People that haven't gone though back surgeries and all the pain a suffering plus loss of loved one because they couldn't understand what your going through because they didn't go through what you went through. If you stuck in a house not doing anything your not going to grow and get health. Only talking to others whom went through what you have gone through can you grow. Most of the people on the forum understand that because they are the ones recovering. It's too bad some people want to delete what you have to say and keep growth out of the subject and just talking about pain, pain and more pain. So how does that help anyone if you can't tell them what your doing which takes away your pain even if it's briefly

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