where are you at?
Do you know where you are going, I am sure that your in one of the stages of grief, and ime sure you are in one of the stages of acceptance, but I wonder, are ypiu at the first step of this journey, or have you traveled this path before, or are you fully invested in tthis new life.
Grief will be a large part of this "way" it is the tao of spiney.
The way the extremely personal and soul testing, we all process differently, we all handle differently, for some it is transference, others it is self guided imagery, whether delusional, or relitavistic, in which we appear to have made a choice, only in the terms of expediting a place of refuge.
there are five or seven stages of grief, depending on your outlook, grief because you have lost your old life. it is one facet of the way...
you have lost a part of your life, and grief is the inevitable and unavoidable sum of actions you will need to experience on the way of acceptance.
They were first proposed by Elsabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying.” they are;
1. Denial and Isolation
I will not ask if you are angry and want to shut in and turn off the lights, inside and out. it is ok, we all are either coming or leaving this time in stages. there is no time limit, although you want to not spend all your time in the darkness of the valley...
The beast will be with you, it is a part of you, there is no escape, no safe word or place. it is you, a new and unwelcome facet of who you are becoming.
now is the time to get your cowboy up.
Pain will exist in and throughout you, it will penetrate every fiber of your being,
and spiritually, and that is the cruelest stroke of all.
examine this beast
what is the beast?
it simply exists ... but what is it? a sensation from your body, that is saying something is wrong, where this goes wrong and starts the path, is when it goes on and on, and there is no end in sight. your body WONT stop, it is seemingly betraying you, it is leaving the realm of physical, quantifiable, and intellectually accessible and turning into psychological pain.
to fight the beast, first and formost, understand what it is...
it is a bodily sensation, a warning mechanism, to tell you to not do that,
but even when you stop, it is still there
dont deny it exists, to shunt the pain away, to cowboy up, this wont work anymore,
you have entered a new arena
a new era in your life.
use the compass of your intellect to look at the nature of the beast,
fully embrace this new life, or you will be frustrated needlessly and uselessly.
to know where your going , you have to know where you been
to find your way, to the other side of the vally, you must know when your treading over old trails, and the only way to do this is to study the environment within and throughout. know with your gut when your walking over the same ground over and over and realise, your going in circles.
See the other side, right over there?
well its there even if you cant, for the trees, or the fog, or the rain.
this first step on the way to over there... may be frightening, coz your going to travel through undiscovered country...
but knowing yourself, who, what, and where you are will help you place one foot in front of the other.
you build your compass, and how accurate is all up to you, how intellectually honest your willing to be
how emotionally honest, you will learn to be,
first is knowing yourself
study the nature and way of your darkness, and why you want to shut your self away from the world
this is first
where are you in your journey?
do you know you are not alone?
are never alone.
all you have to do is ask.
some one, some where, has walked the mile
some one some where, is willing to walk the mile with you
the same shoes, the same path,
are you willing to listen, and discern?
dont despair, it is a road, you MUST take,
it will be a learning, growing experience.
if you want to learn, first you must listen,
dont be alone in this, it is a community we have,and it is a loving,and emotionally mature little village on the web we have.
you dont have to be afraid any more
you dont have to carry this burden, bent and broken under the toil...
you will walk in the sun again...on your terms,,ego is the enemy, you will learn this
you will be free
you will walk, fierce in your determination, a strong desire in your heart, and fire in your eyes.
you wiull learn the way
you will be victorious.
make your mind up.
there is no turning back once you start,
we are family here
we are fierce in determination
we are strong because we have knowledge of the beast
we will walk this road with you
all the way,
some? as far as they can.
that noise in the darkness is nothing to fear
that distant shadow on the horizon
is a friend
that man carrying you..
is your brother, (Love to my sistas in spiney foo!!!) mama bears all!
look within you, dont fear the darkness there
it is an undiscovered country neith the stars o mine
dark hidden glen and heather in
and mighty oaks to shelter by..
wont for light has led many astray, on paths plain as lit by day
as the oak will bend
and the stream around
and wind will through
you will walk these roads as strait narrow and true.