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where are you at?
Do you know where you are going, I am sure that your in one of the stages of grief, and ime sure you are in one of the stages of acceptance, but I wonder, are ypiu at the first step of this journey, or have you traveled this path before, or are you fully invested in tthis new life.
Grief will be a large part of this "way" it is the tao of spiney.
The way the extremely personal and soul testing, we all process differently, we all handle differently, for some it is transference, others it is self guided imagery, whether delusional, or relitavistic, in which we appear to have made a choice, only in the terms of expediting a place of refuge.

there are five or seven stages of grief, depending on your outlook, grief because you have lost your old life. it is one facet of the way...
you have lost a part of your life, and grief is the inevitable and unavoidable sum of actions you will need to experience on the way of acceptance.
They were first proposed by Elsabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying.” they are;

1. Denial and Isolation
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

I will not ask if you are angry and want to shut in and turn off the lights, inside and out. it is ok, we all are either coming or leaving this time in stages. there is no time limit, although you want to not spend all your time in the darkness of the valley...

The beast will be with you, it is a part of you, there is no escape, no safe word or place. it is you, a new and unwelcome facet of who you are becoming.

now is the time to get your cowboy up.

Pain exists.
Pain will exist in and throughout you, it will penetrate every fiber of your being,
and spiritually, and that is the cruelest stroke of all.

examine this beast
what is the beast?
it is..
it simply exists ... but what is it? a sensation from your body, that is saying something is wrong, where this goes wrong and starts the path, is when it goes on and on, and there is no end in sight. your body WONT stop, it is seemingly betraying you, it is leaving the realm of physical, quantifiable, and intellectually accessible and turning into psychological pain.

to fight the beast, first and formost, understand what it is...
and isnt.
it is a bodily sensation, a warning mechanism, to tell you to not do that,
but even when you stop, it is still there
dont deny it exists, to shunt the pain away, to cowboy up, this wont work anymore,
you have entered a new arena
a new era in your life.

use the compass of your intellect to look at the nature of the beast,
fully embrace this new life, or you will be frustrated needlessly and uselessly.

to know where your going , you have to know where you been
to find your way, to the other side of the vally, you must know when your treading over old trails, and the only way to do this is to study the environment within and throughout. know with your gut when your walking over the same ground over and over and realise, your going in circles.

See the other side, right over there?
well its there even if you cant, for the trees, or the fog, or the rain.

this first step on the way to over there... may be frightening, coz your going to travel through undiscovered country...
but knowing yourself, who, what, and where you are will help you place one foot in front of the other.

you build your compass, and how accurate is all up to you, how intellectually honest your willing to be
how emotionally honest, you will learn to be,

first is knowing yourself
study the nature and way of your darkness, and why you want to shut your self away from the world
this is first

where are you in your journey?
do you know you are not alone?
are never alone.
all you have to do is ask.
some one, some where, has walked the mile
some one some where, is willing to walk the mile with you
the same shoes, the same path,
are you willing to listen, and discern?

dont despair, it is a road, you MUST take,
it will be a learning, growing experience.
if you want to learn, first you must listen,

dont be alone in this, it is a community we have,and it is a loving,and emotionally mature little village on the web we have.
you dont have to be afraid any more
you dont have to carry this burden, bent and broken under the toil...
you can
you will walk in the sun again...on your terms,,ego is the enemy, you will learn this
you will be free
you will walk, fierce in your determination, a strong desire in your heart, and fire in your eyes.

you wiull learn the way
you will be victorious.

make your mind up.
right here
right now
to live

right here
right now.

there is no turning back once you start,
we are family here
we are fierce in determination
we are strong because we have knowledge of the beast
we will walk this road with you
all the way,
some? as far as they can.

that noise in the darkness is nothing to fear
that distant shadow on the horizon
is a friend
that man carrying you..
is your brother, (Love to my sistas in spiney foo!!!) mama bears all!

look within you, dont fear the darkness there
it is an undiscovered country neith the stars o mine
dark hidden glen and heather in
and mighty oaks to shelter by..

wont for light has led many astray, on paths plain as lit by day
as the oak will bend
and the stream around
and wind will through
you will walk these roads as strait narrow and true.

be blessed

William Garza
Spine-Health Mod

Welcome to Spine-Health



  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,832
    edited 01/29/2013 - 3:15 PM
    Ranch, you are just the person I would want to have going into any adventure.

    We need the philosopher, who will always look at the bright side and show us ways to climb out of the background
    We need the negotiator to help us get through what we couldn't do
    We need the magician, who can help us through any tough times
    We need the hero, who can crush or brush aside any obstacle in our way.

    No matter what, we have the combination of people, right here on Spine-Health who can do whatever our minds and hearts
    our tuned to....

    Mover over Trump, you never know where the next tower may go

    Who are these people?

    The Philosopher - who else has those skills , its Ranchhand
    The Lawyer who else can help us out of jams, but our own tamtam
    The Magician who else could fine creative ways to doing just about anything, its watch him closely Alexhurting
    The Hero the Slammer, the Enforceer - Thats all of the rest of Spine-Health, couldnt ask for more
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • William GarzaWilliam Garza TexasPosts: 2,351
    edited 01/29/2013 - 8:38 PM
    I am gratefull and humbled by your praise, and bask in the sunshine of it. you stand me in a pantheon of august company. beside these men of valor and ability.
    I can do, I can express my humble thoughts and give voice to my inner landscape, because of Spine-Health.
    You and many blessed others have created a safe haven, away from the craven and madding crowd of which I seek asylum, if only for a moment.

    I feel blessed to have so many who inspire me, simply b y living and experiencing this most uncommon of lives, trapped as we are,
    the firery bond we share with life burns no less bright, trapped here as we are, yet learning to be free

    is this life all that we all hoped for?
    are we lifted toward the light?
    where did this begin.and where does it end?...

    I honestly dont know.
    I can think of no finer family to live this life with.
    Bonded by fate, or destiny, it doesnt matter we simply are

    I wonder about those among us, silent, for whichever reason,
    i would here your voice in the darkness, to know..
    to know that here in the valley, we/i am not alone.

    and i wonder and worry for those
    "out there" who hear no voice. in thier darkness
    waiting on that train that never comes.
    never will come...

    would you be that kind stranger who dares walk up and extend the hand of peace?
    would you be the brave one, who gives shelter and comfort to those who have no hope/
    Would you?

    would you be that God Sped angel, who heard the cry, in without hesitation and remorse, to put your sheltering arms and glower fierce and unshakeable... at the beast?

    would you be that traveler by the way, who doesnt have hope, yet still looks expectantly at every stranger passing by, waiting for relief, yet are the first to run toward those in need, time and again, irregardless of your grief.

    Spine-Health has been these to me.

    I can give because i am given
    I can take, because i need to
    I can run and hide
    but i wont
    i can curl up and wait for that Angel we all must meet
    or i can get up and meet that Blessed Mercy, at the end of the long trail

    To those who have not found their voice here...yet, we are all family, sharing a common bond
    its ok to speak

    I give because i have been given, i find joy in others triumph, and weep at thier tragedy
    but cannot abide by those unfulfilled, and bound by fear.

    Sorry to be so blunt.

    you have a voice
    you are needed here
    give voice to this most heavenly of choirs
    bound by fate to these shattered husks, and dreams.

    I was welcomed to Spine Health, and have never regretted a moment in the relationship.
    I call to you stranger, bid you to be a stranger no more
    come sit by this fire, we are warm together here in the valley
    this little spiney village on the web? it is a fine fine thing,
    behold the broken
    look upon the shattered dream..
    for it is the broken pieces, cemented by hope that builds the strongest walls, inside of which we shelter from the storm, the wrack and wreckage,and the beast.

    who will tell our story?

    Go tell the Spartans
    stranger passing by...

    we are all warriors here at the gates
    and we only have the Brother, the Sister, and all the vices and vanitys of our broken selves
    and we are bound to the broken sword,
    Keen is the edge and the pain
    willing is the spirit
    and the body..
    but we will only charge the gate one time
    but we broken and bloody to the soul will make this most glorious of stands, and will be remembered

    I have freedom, if not throughout, but within

    because of Who and What Spine Health is...

    Thank you Papa Ron

    Be blessed my spiney family
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • RambiRRambi Posts: 29
    edited 03/17/2014 - 1:04 PM
    I love to read your posts . You inspire me and so many others with your writing. And I needed to read this because I m sitting home alone crying, overwhelmed with so many feelings that we all deal with. So thank you from another spiney and friend .
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,832
    edited 03/17/2014 - 1:51 PM
    As always your posts are the ones that everyone here should read or perhaps twice.

    Thanks for sharing your views about life.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
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