While this applies to life in general, I think it has an extra meaning for patients dealing with chronic pain.
The reason I say this, is that I know many of us feel guilty at times burdening our loved ones with problem after problem.
I know that after 30+ years with my wife having to deal with my chronic pain, she gets tired of it. But in all honestly, I am the one who thinks she gets tired. She has always told me, as long as I hold up to my end of the bargain, do the things I am suppose to (regarding chronic pain) and then helping out with other things in the house hold that I can with or without pain, she is fine, she can take it on. I think that is so true because she has been in the medical field for over 35 years now as a Respiratory Therapist and as a Pulmonary specialist with full RN degrees. ; They are caretakers they almost live to help others.
Ok, back to the subject. I've read lots of posts,plus get a number of private messages dealing with this subject of spouses with one living in chronic pain and the other maybe not understanding what its all about.
Two way communications is the only way to really address that matter.
But when the chips are down, when you really need someone to talk to , to confide in, who is that person?
Being married over 40 years now, I'd say my wife fits that bill 95% of the time. But there are times when you do need another ear.
What does it take to be the person to be counted on?
- Great listening skills
- Not judging you about what you believe, say or are doing.
- Not taking sides
- Telling you the truth to your face
- And the most important, being honest
Over the years, I have had different people that I can count on for different things.. Like I said, my wife is my primary and principle person when it comes to this, but there are times when I need another person. I am very fortunate to have two grown children/adults (38 and 35) that in many ways are my best friends. I know I can come to either one of them to discuss a situation, we can talk about it and come away with a consensus.
I think I have already answered enough of my question.... Who can you count on? It could be many
I'd love for the rest of us to give everyone your ideas.
Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences