Where do I start?
I herniated a disc back in October of 2012, causing not only back pain but sciatic nerve pain. I took a few days off work here and there. Then in January things got worse. Went through all the conventional things to try and relieve pain. Meanwhile, I am not at work. This while year I've worked MAYBE 5 weeks? I was doing ok (money and stress wise) up until about July when my Short Term Disability went from 80% pay to 60% pay (roughly $7.64 an hour at that rate. Take home monthly is now about $700 which is WAY less than I need to survive). I also received a call from my HR person back in August letting me know that they were releasing me from my position at work. They weren't terminating me or ending my benefits, but they needed to fill my position. Needless to say, I wept on the phone and told them that I loved my job and that everything going on was out of my control. My HR person let me know that, including my now vacant position, there are two openings in my office. I am terrified that I will not be allowed back to work in time to get my position back.
On top of that, I am so friggin sick of this sciatic leg pain. It isn't severe most of the times, it's just really stinkin annoying and I am way past tolerance on this. Some days it only reminds me it is there off and on. Other days it violently throbs against my leg and makes me want to cry. Here in the last few days, i have new back pain. It is a similar feeling to a slipped disc or pulled muscle, but not as severe. I'm sure it's obvious that I am super frustrated. I definitely am.
Now I find out that the company that handles our STD/LTD/FMLA needs more clarification on my request off. I get to do that on Monday which is also the day I have my first post op visit with my surgeon. I'm scared that he won't let me go back to work or something else is wrong. I'm scared that I won't be able to get my job back and then be screwed. I'm scared that I will get my job back and will get injured and then have to go through all of this again and then be fired.
I just... I'm having a bad night. And I'm trying to stay positive but it keeps getting harder and harder to do that for myself. Sorry for whining, I just needed to let it out.
36 yr old with one degenerative disc (L5-S1)
3 rounds of Epidurals in 2013
6 PT visits in 2013
Microdiscectomy L5 S1 on 9/5/2013.
Re-herniated in January 2014.
Epidural on 3/3/14.
A/PLIF (L5-S1) 6/3/14