Its funny how the people in your life, least equipped to deal with stress, always lash out at the others in their lives, the ones who have the least, and the most to lose.
its always a struggle when they simply love to vault their problems up into the high and rarified air, you know, the ,MY PROBLEMS ARE BIGGER, MORE PAINFUL, MORE WORSE,MORE DRAMATIC...than anyone else in the world.
ive learned to deal with my issues with a modicum of grace and dignity, so ime somewhat confused when people call me out on the way i treat myself, and others around me. I dont understand how this DRAMATIC poo come to the fore,
dare they not walk in my shoes, for they woulld stumble and fall, and expect the world to come rushing to aid...
thats a train that never comes...
one owes me $, , wait, let me iterate this literatly... the ones with the least, give the gifts most dear, for they cannot afford to gift, and when its given, its a grave matter to be taken under consideration and kind... and when said person blythly throws it away, it is an assault and an affront to the dignity of the giver.
one awaits and pushes for a rematch of an altercation, the old lion with no teeth, who roars at the slightest provocation, never realizing who he roars at prefers not to enter said urinary distance competition...
one constantly, frequently, and with assured aclarity, points out the faults with assurance that respect forbids one from answering in defence of dignity, honor and respect...if you dare to defend yourself, it is the end of the world that you dared to raise the specter of defence, and any argument to the subject.
two, flaunt the fact that they are finaly making an amount of income i had achieved when they were still in boy shorts in grade school, and yet contribute...NOTHING towards the common good of the family.
and then there is your humble servant and writer...
to whome the pain and agony of simply existing is excruciating..yet is looked upon with anger
i raise my ring finger in time honored hello!
ime tired of dealing with everyone, ive got my own issues, uniquely and totaly my own...i dont ask for commiseration, understanding..i am asking for respect. of my human condition.
I am, i was, and will always try to be a good person, yet ime tested every day...
am i the better person>
am i a good person?
will i be a good person>
or will i turn into the deficate spewing cynic,
ime afraid ime almost there, the optimism is dying a horrible agonized and drawn out death...
the world grows dark with anger and frustration
the words escape from my gentle side and meer dank puddles of cold emotion remain.
what will remain, if any of the gentle giving me?