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What was the most painful situation you had to go through - Emotional

Many people say that emotional pain is much harder to deal with than physical pain. I am one that also believes in that. For the physical pain, there is generally a pill or treatment that can reduce the pain you are in. But when it comes to emotional pain, is there such a pill?

It may be hard to post some of your painful emotional situations. But here, I like to believe we are a family. We share so many common grounds, that wearing our emotions on our sleeves can be very easy.

I would love to hear from all of you about this.
Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com


  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,846
    I've looked back over the years to try to isolate what incident hit me the hardest.
    I came up with two.

    1 - My mother, (83) lived in a house a few blocks away from me (that was after trying to get both my mother and father, out from a home on Long Island to be closer to us in CT) She was a healthy women, never had a day being ill. She loved to be out in the garden planting, weeding, etc. We had a plan that she would call me every day at 10:00am to say that everything is ok. This one Sunday, we were out, when I cam back, there was no message.. Nothing to get alarmed at.
    I tried calling over to her house a few times, no answer. Finally, I went over to the house, I walked in , looked around and found her dead lying in her bed. Eyes open, not sure if she died suddenly the night before or that morning. Still that was a pretty emotional thing to handle

    2 - And I still think this was the hardest. In the 1990s, my best friend, Gus lived on a lake. Almost every weekend we would be at their house, my boat, his boat, his water toys, etc. Nothing but fun. He was 53 and he was in excellent shape and ate all the right things. One cloudy Sunday, I was suppose to go with them on a wake boarding excursion up and down the lake. My wife was working that day, and being cloudy, I said now. Later that afternoon, I received a phone call from one of his neighbors.... asking if my wife was in the hospital that day.. I said yes, no problem. About an hour later, my wife calls me and tells me I should come to the ER. Again, no problem. I drove into the parking oot and ran into a person that works with my wife. She said not good. Ok, so, now I am thinking a bad cut, multiple fractures, etc.
    I go towards the room where my wife was , she motioned me to come in. There was a body in a wet suit on the table, still nothing clicked. My wife's face was pale white. I walked around the table, and saw that it was my best friend! He had a massive heart attack on the lake and could not be saved. That was very tough to handle.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • jlrfryejjlrfrye ohioPosts: 1,110
    edited 01/23/2014 - 9:57 PM
    My mothers death is the hardest emotional hit I have ever been given. She wanted me to lay down with her until she passed. I didnt leave the bed for 3 days. Watching her die a painful slow death and not being able to to do anything but comfort her was the hardest part. It has been 5 months now since her passing and it has not gotten better with time. I still find myself picking up the phone to call her to tell her something and then it hits me, shes gone. Also the same as you Ron a best friend.. I will never forget the call, massive heart attack in his sleep. What hurt the most was I never got to say goodbye and tell him I loved him, although I know that he knew that
  • Today I still cannot remember the drive to his home after the phone call he decided
    the fight was over for him. Very talented at his work but it required his hands which due
    to nerve damage were useless.
    He was a gentle, loving, giving, funny, person who gave life to others who were in need.
    I didn't even know he was that deep in hell how desperate he must have felt.
    Why didn't he call God I live with so many questions. But then I can relate he lost his way of
    life his means to be worth something. He was a proud man failing was not an option.'
    I can see his boots and shirt sitting on the chair at the morgue.
    Yes that was my hardest day this pain is nothing compared to that pain.
  • My precious daddy died in 1994 of COPD. He had been in and out of VA hospital over a 10 year period and last time was in for many months on a venfilator. He would occasionally write us little notes and once wrote the name of Kavorkian. Broke my heart to see him suffer and hands tied down. He actually came off vent and was in a private room. Me and my husband had been in bankrupcy court all morning and as we drove toward exit I wanted to go by and see him. My husband didnt want to stop and we drove ho.me. I was heading out the door to go get my mama to go see him when she called and my hubby answered the phone and just the look on his face when he said you daddy is gone. I was hysterical and so mad at him because I didnt get to tell my daddy I love him one last time.

    My mamas illness and death was the exact opposite. She was losing weight, could not taste nor smell food and her color as gray. We went for a CT scan of abdomen and tech came out and asked to call our family doctor to order another of her lungs. Afterwards she was on phone with doctor and wanted us to go directly to her office. Being in medical field I knew as soon as they ordered test of lungs that it was bad. My mama had always smoked, not heavy but only at home with us and had a cough for as long as I remember. As we drove to office I tried to keep my composure which meant I could not talk at all. Our family doctor since 1985 and had begged her to stop smoking. She even told her she would treat her for free for the rest of her life if she would stop. She had a severe pain in chest about 6 months before and stopped smoking but it was too late.

    She was diagnosed with non-small cell carcinoma in right lung. It had caused the top lobe to collapse...the severe pain...and was invading her bronchial tube and into her heart. After biopsyba week later we found she had 2 weeks to 2 months. They could not operate and my sister broke down when doctor asked mama what she wanted to do. She said she looked into our eyes and saw the fear and pain and decided to go for treatments. Me and my sister took her for her chemo treatments and held each other when she had her head shaved...she had never even had a haircut and had beautiful long hair. Do you know she refused to wear a wig. Would occasionally wear cute little hats we would find her but only when cold. He made it through chemo and started daily radiation. It was horrible. She was in hospital so much receiving blood transfusions, had blood clots in legs and lungs so 3 weeks into treatment she decided she had enough.

    She moved in with mein June 2004 and I took semester off school to care for her. The Lord gave us 6months with her. I remember her telling me she did not want to go through the holidays so she passed away Nov.21 a week after her71st birthday and we buried her the day before Thanksgiving. I spent many nights in her room and would not eat, sleep just sat in rocking chair holding her stuffed animal her grandbabies got her. A part of my heart died that day and I havenever been the same. Okay, I cant type anymore. I am so emotionally drained right n ow but I am so thankful we got to spend 6 months talking daily and I had the privilege of caring for her instead of strangers in a hospital. She left to join my daddy and her parents and baby surrounded by her children and grandchildren. I miss you mama and daddy</3

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