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PleaseHelp! I years of suffering from Chronic long term pain & have been profiled!

I was seeing my primary doctor, a lady doctor my primary care doctor, for over 13 years. She sent me to 13 other doctors, three which diagnosed me with Lupus. She initially diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia, until she starting seeing blood tests, off and on with positive ANA results. Finally, after seeing my pain increase in areas of my body, where it hadn't been before and in intensity, she diagnosed me with Mixed Connective Tissue Disease and started me on a low dose of oxycontin, for pain relief. Eventually, she raised my dose to morphine, at 300 mgs a day. This was wonderful as I had no pain at all. I didn't even need the breakthrough medication of Norco, while on this. I was able to care of my fiance, who died of lung cancer, now my ex-husband, who is blind and destitute. Unfortunately, my doctor quit her practice.

The second doctor, also a lady doctor, an Internist, kept telling me she was "Uncomfortable, with my morphine dosage." She said she had a bad experience, in Phoenix, almost losing her practice because one person, she prescribed morphine to, was stopped by a traffic cop, and found to have marijuana on him. So this was why she was "uncomfortable," with the morphine, prescribed to me, which was finally helping me. I was able to be humane again, able to sleep and get out of my wheel chair and bed, which I spent most of my time, before the morphine. She took me off the morphine, completely, putting me on a Butrans patch, which I thought would work, but found out the insurance wouldn't cover. So, she put me on Buprenorphine, plus Clonidine, thinking that would trick my brain into thinking I wasn't hurting any more. I got very ill on the Buprenorphine, my chest pains came back, (a leaky valve), migraines returned and it greatly affected my IBS. Before I got to see her again, I was called and told she quit. The head doctor, with the clinic, I was going to, called me and told me she wanted me to get off everything, but gave me a script for 60mgs, 3x's/day, until I saw a new Internist, a male doctor, who she said would decide if I can stay on the morphine.

Today I saw this new doctor. As soon as he came into the exam room, he looked me over and I could tell right away, there was an "air" about him, saw on his face that he thought I was a drug addict and that there was nothing wrong with me. He went so far as to say I do not have a terminal disease, cancer, and that he is going to completely take me off the morphine, because I don't need it. He decided I needed to go to a physical therapist, (I had done this years before, only ending up hurting more, because my body is so sensitive to things and people touching it), and I am only to take over the counter pain medications!!!! I have been in pain since high school and was in modified gym, because I was then, diagnosed with arthritis in both knees. I took so many over the counter pain medications, trying to raise my children, without their suffering from my being in pain, I quit, they were ruining my stomach. They didn't help my ever increasing pain. Now this doctor thinks I should go back on them! I have no one to help care for me. I am currently, still caring for my blind and destitute ex-husband. We have no one to help us, plus I'm supporting the both of us with my low income, disability money. I can barely able to pay my utilities and mortgage, let alone pay for food and my doctor bills, which have mounted up and they sent me to a collection agency. Even though I've been trying to make small payments, every month or so. This new doctor, treats me like a drug addict, claims he's looked over my entire history, yet mentions blood tests that haven't been taken in years! Now I don't know what I will do.

I will end up back in my wheel chair and bed, from the extreme pain. I won't be able to drive my old truck, with no air conditioning, in the high desert heat, to see him again, I won't be able to go to the dollar store, less than 5 minutes from my home, to buy the only food we can afford, because of this doctor. Plus, I fear he is going to send negative reports to disability telling them I am not disabled! I will loose that income.

I am not a drug addict, if he had taken a urine sample, he would have seen that. He didn't even examine me. I haven't been examined, for years, just sit and talk. He ignored my painful remarks, when he touched my hands and my back. He asked me who told me I had scleroderma! Yet, you can clearly see the stretched skin across my hands and my face has way less wrinkles than other people my age. I look 10-20 years younger, because of the tight skin.

Does anyone know a doctor, who will continue understanding my long term, chronic pain, continue with the lessened morphine dosage, without treating me as a drug addict, without worry for losing his/her license. A doctor dedicated to helping their patients be more pain free and better? I live in Sierra Vista, AZ and pray someone is seeing a more understanding and caring doctor. Please, please help! My email is marivan08@gmail.com if you know a doctor who will treat me better, as a humane being. Thank you!


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