I can't cope with the pain I'm at the moment. Intolerable pain, for me, leads to thoughts about how to make it stop. The main ones at the moment are suicide and heroin. If I kill myself, that will be a permanent solution. If I take heroin I will have some temporary relief. Also I figure if I get a heroin habit I will be a candidate for methodone or Suboxone, both of which will probably help the pain. I know how dumb this sounds. I just... Can't cope with this. I have my first appointment with a pain doc on June 5 , but I feel like I can't wait that long. I feel so desperate to escape this. Does anyone else have thoughts like these? Do you hatch evil schemes to get out of pain? I feel like other people probably think of these things a lot too when they are hurting, but I don't know. It would be nice to know I'm not alone in contemplating extreme solutions to pain.