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Support for Spouse

MauiripperMMauiripper Posts: 38
edited 05/05/2014 - 10:22 AM in Depression and Coping
Aloha
My journey to this point is 7years. My extreme pain is just now starting after PLIF on April 4
Before my nerve pain was some what tolerable.
The Dr has me on Lyrica 2x 75mg. Just started this past thurs so only on it 4days
I have had two episodes of "nervous breakdown" bouts of crying.
My husband is the best on the planet. He is a patient kind laid back soul. When these episodes start he feels so helpless
Our there forums out there for spouse so he can talk listen get ideas on how to deal with this
ANY advice input is so very appreciated
Fell 11ft 2007 numerous fractures broken arm, 4 head bleeds.
Nerve blocks, tried stimulator, acupuncture, massage, numerous injections, nerve blocks. Ect. Vitamins
2011 laminectomy, april 4. 2014 Fusion l5-S1. PLIF
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Comments

  • EnglishGirlEEnglishGirl Posts: 1,825
    edited 05/06/2014 - 12:53 PM
    I had some really emotional reactions to Lyrics & Savella while titrating up. It was very out of character for me but it passed as my body (& mind) grew accustomed to the medications. I know as a chronic pain sufferer for many years now, this can be very hard on those who love & support us. My husband too feels totally powerless & frustrated at times. I don't know of a specific spouse forum, it would be a good idea here. There have been supporters on this site looking for help in the past & everyone has done their best to give guidance. I'm sorry I can't be of more help. Good luck with the Lyrica, many here find it to be a great med particularly for nerve related pain. ;-)
    Osteoarthritis & DDD.
  • KatnoirKKatnoir Posts: 11
    edited 06/10/2014 - 7:19 AM
    I don't know of any, but if you find them, please share! I've had my share of nervous breakdowns around my very level-headed fiance, and it really freaks him out (the regular crying he can deal with, of course, but he dislikes it because he feels powerless to help...)

    When I'm in severe pain, all I can do after work is curl up on the couch... Making dinner, doing dishes, scooping our cats' litter box, everything is just too much for me. I have to think that he deeply resents it (or doesn't understand why SOMETIMES I feel up to these tasks but other times I'm not), but I think this paranoia all in my head.

    And the worst thing is that he's going through a very stressful time in his career, so he feels as if he can't share his own struggles with me, because our life is all about my herniated disc.

    Hopefully this too shall pass...

    Good luck!
  • Shocking! no? ime being all shocking like this morning i guess, Bless you guys in your journeys! The worst part of being a partner to someone in pain is not being able to take it away from their loved one, they want you to be whole and complete..life isnt as simple no? and then the other does not wan to be a burden to the aforesaid love of their life, and thats the darkness, right threre, a simple case of the I loveyouandidontwantyouhurtingandiwouldtakeitawayificould..s.

    open and honest communication is key i think, when i ask, are you ok, and they say.."ime fine"and they are obviously not, ime going to find a way to help you, and then the argument starts, because they cant or wont accept help given out of love respect and honor accorded to a loved one, they cant accept a lot of times..A. that they need help B. they can ask for it, its ok, thats what partner is there for.

    Let your pardner help experience life with you, share the pain and sorrow with you, its ok, life isnt kind nor forgiving of closed doors, it wants to flow and ebb with the time and tides, your going to find a deeper emotional connection i think when this ultimate sharing starts.

    Now us spineys, we can only do so much to support our others..what we can do is love unconditionally, try and give the time you can to them and not be angry or frustrated too awful much with ourselves at the lack of ability to help them in life..the very act of trying is a beautiful act, and they better see the sacrifice.

    Empathy and Sympathy are fine in words, but deeds matter more.

    Bless you all and I hope these words helped :)
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod
    erator

    Welcome to Spine-Health

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