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Help. Need support bad

annabelleraannabeller Posts: 24
edited 09/19/2014 - 4:46 PM in Scoliosis
Hey guys,
I am feeling really depressed and down. My mother in Law visited for the first time and she snooped thru my Rxs and saw that I took morphine extended release and percocet for break thru pain for my 3 spinal fusions I had to have do to nuero skeletal scoliosis. Well she is now begging my husband to leave me and that I am a frug addict because none should ever be on that heavy of pain meds. So she has me pinned as a druggyy and completely blocked me off. She said she was going to buy me this $400 purse and now changed her mind and will not ever visit again because she found out what I need to take just to function. I take 30 mg of morphine and 3 10 mg perceocets for break thru pain. I have never abused or taken more then I was prescribed and I am barely just accepting that this is my new life. That I will always be in some sort of chronic pain. And now my husband is thinking of leaving me because he now instead of believing me and my drs is listening to her. So I was hoping maybe someone could shed some light on how I can explain to her that this is pretty common with chronic pain. Maybe share me what you take and why and what is has done to improve your life. Its making me sick and I am in the middle of getting disability for it right now and I am so stressed because she also said he needed to leave me because I didn't contribute any money. I do give 700 a month and I also take care of my son. He is 9 so I can't work anyways cuz daycare is so expensive but also Its too hard on my back. Please give me any hope and any explanation that I could share with her. She is old fashioned and 75 and thinks a advil will fix everything and only thinks of morhpine as herion. Please help me and share your stories. It has me so depressed and really just wanting to give up on trying anymore. I just barely started to accept that I will forever be changed since my 3 spinal fusions and scoliosis still progressing and losing my whole life over it. So it destroyed me to have the one operson who influences my husband tell him to leave me and that Im damaged good. Im heartsick. :( I feel so alone


  • Jonny ZeroJonny Zero Posts: 69
    edited 09/21/2014 - 4:58 AM
    There are always 3 sides to every story.... Yours, theirs and the truth!

    If u could provide us with your story perhaps and what lead to your Mother In Law going off the deep end? It just doesn't make sense that a loving Mother In law would try to destroy her son's life after something this traumatic happens to her daughter in law.


    Post edited for inappropriate comments. Spine Health Moderators reserve the right to edit any post.
    4 Level (C5-T2) Posterior Instrumented Fusion w/ Decompression (Car Accident in January 2014)
    And I can't forget that I'm not ashamed, to be the person that I am today.
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,865
    Prior to your MIL snooping around was there any friction between her, your husband and yourself? The snooping part is disgraceful, unless she need to gather some form of evidence, for what ?

    Its hard to imagine that now, after your MIL found your RX list, she has got her son on her side, forgetting about you or what your doctors are saying.

    But as Chris just stated, there are always many sides to a story. Only when they are all out on the table, can everyone make sense out of everything.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • With your husband. It's nice to get along with everyone but you married him... And he married you. Snooping through your stuff is wrong. Then having the nerve to tell her son to leave is ridiculous. I know my loving. Inlaws have no clue what I'm taking and are as supportive as they can be.. But frankly if you're following medical orders I don't see how she could feel this way. . How lucky for her life has been lived without chronic pain.
    Good luck to you eliminating this stress as we all know stress adds to pain.
  • Jonny ZeroJonny Zero Posts: 69
    edited 09/21/2014 - 5:01 AM
    Hi Annabeller,

    U started a thread and have received some responses, including mine. Please chime in. It sounds like a real mess you're dealing with as I could feel your emotion while reading your post.... It wasn't making a ton of sense, but I could totally feel your anxiety/despair. You don't need to feel alone; reach out to us.

    Obviously there's a bigger problem here as Dilauro pointed out. EDITED

    Post edited to remove unhelpful/inappropriate comments.
    4 Level (C5-T2) Posterior Instrumented Fusion w/ Decompression (Car Accident in January 2014)
    And I can't forget that I'm not ashamed, to be the person that I am today.
  • oldwatergirlooldwatergirl Posts: 10
    edited 09/20/2014 - 9:02 PM
    After you kick her out of your home, have chat with husband. I agree there has to be some past history with that sneaky MIL. How did she get into your meds ? You don't have to explain to anyone about why your on meds that's between you and your doctor.
    If your husband all of sudden decides that quick to listen to Mommy Dearest then pack his bag & send him back to mommy.
    It's enough to live day to day in pain, you don't need anyone else judging you.

    And have to say it's been a while since I have been around SH and I see somethings don't change, nice words to show some compassion Mr. Zero
    Take time Anna and try not to get to upset or down most people (especially family) do not understand that pain meds don't get us high, they help us to get out of bed most days.
    Mary Sullivan
  • sandisandi Posts: 6,343
    edited 09/21/2014 - 4:53 AM
    First of all, honey I'm sorry that you are dealing with all of this. How long ago was your surgery? The amount of medications you take is no one's concern but yours, your physicians and your husband's. Your mother in law had no right to go snooping in your home, and disrespecting both you and your husband. As a guest in your home, she has no right to snoop anywhere.
    As far as what she was going to buy you goes, I'm not sure of the purpose of mentioning that unless it was an attempt on her part to emotionally manipulate you? It really has nothing to do with her violating your privacy and your home.
    All of that being said, unless you are over medicated, and there are concerns for misuse or abuse of the medications, my simple response would be to thank her for her concern, however your medical issues are being handled by your doctor, therefore you don't need her opinion.
    If your husband has concerns over your medication use, however, he may be seeing something that he is concerned about, which brought questions from his mother. That being said, he should have discussed any concerns WITH you, not with her.
    Chronic pain is managed with the use of extended release medications, dosed on the patients reported pain levels, with the use of breakthrough medications in some cases in the event of a flare up of pain.
    What doses others are taking really has no bearing on your situation. You can find articles on the internet on the proper use of pain medications to treat chronic pain or we have some that I have written regarding their use here. I will link them below if you feel that they may be helpful.

    The above one was written by our administrator

  • for your wise and helpful support to Anna.
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