I feel so sad and I am trying so hard to feel better and have a better attitude. The last thing I wanted was to come here, as a matter of fact I already have and keep deleting it. I just turned 53 and I know that isn't young, but I feel so much older. The past few months are taking a toll on me and my marriage and my finances. My back is a mess, the epidural did nothing but take more money from me,I know I need surgery bad and now my kidneys are destroyed due to celebrex and I can already feel the pain worsening from not taking it anymore even with all my pain medication. My kidney situation is one third of people will be ok, one third will eventually need dialysis, and one third will die. The way my luck has been I don't feel too good. I have never in my life felt this sad and I can't stop the tears and I want to feel positive and hopeful but it's not there and I am heartbroken that after almost 35 years of marriage all that we have endured that this marriage is in trouble due to all the stress. I know he is tired of it all. I really am sorry for posting this...I thought long and hard and I really just need to vent. I don't expect anyone to have any answers or even reply, I just needed a place to vent so I can feel a little better.
P.S. I do so appreciate all the help I have been given and my heart goes out to all of you who are suffering. I would give just about anything if I could take it all away.