Those that know me know the situation i've been in these last few years. It finally has come to the end of this road.
Given the ultimatum by a family member to pay an unrealistic amount of "rent" and an even more unrealistic amount of time to pay has made it impossible to live in this home any more.
This family has never been supportive or understanding of my conditions, seemingly and continuously through the ordeal i have been treated like some object to be used and thrown aside when it became broken...i only mattered as long as i could bring money to them. I got a job 3 weeks ago that pays minimum wage and i work my 30 hours or so mandated by the sorry workmens comp provider and on the sage advice of my doctor, these limits and others were given in order to preserve some semblance of a quality of life in my future..I ..me ..mine, my own future where i may have a chance at not being incontinent, bedridden or in more pain than now.
they don't care, i know they understand because most of them had at least high school.
This is wilful and self determined action on their part.
I cant make a living wage since i cant drive an 18 wheeler anymore
Workmens comp has never helped
Social security has tuned me down 5 times or so and have..(penalized) me bu knocking down my benefits i worked for since i was 14, to where i couldn't by groceries for a month on what was a livable amount
I am moving out and away from the toxic environment i have willingly lived in ,,not from choice but necessity
They don't understand the gravity of this , i have put up with the abuse for years and when i am done the finality will leave them bereft of any sibling sympathy, service or whatever.
Thank God I have a friend who can put me up for a while in another town.
Gathering the material objects that make up my life is simple, i don;t have much, and hopefully with the aid of another friend i may be able to get a small travel trailer to move into.
the split will be complete.
I will have biological siblings.. that is all
no more contact will do me wonders as the toxicity has been at intolerable levels for so long , it is as if a breath of free air has wafted in from some other place.
I hope to go on to a better place in life and i look forward to it with an open heart and a will if somewhat frightened spirit
but that is the way of things new no?
thank you guys for taking the time to read my little sad rant.
But i think i will be alright
i will face whatever comes with hope and a semblance of grace
(soon to be out on the range)