My name is Bud, (nickname).. On the 13th of last month I had about 7 hardcore seizures in a row, while laying in bed, thank god that my wife was there, otherwise I'd have probably died. Before that, I thought I was a normal completely healthy 32 yr old man. Anyways, I was rushed to the ER, thank my wife again because I was out of it and could not have called 911 myself. They did MRI and CT scan and found a 4 1/2 cm menengioma on my left frontal lobe. 2 days later 6/15/15, I was undergoing emergency surgery to remove it. Which was succesful thank god, and non cancerous, thank god.. Did I mention I'm poor and have no insurance at all, I've applied for govt assistance but cannot get help. I just went to my second follow up with my neurosurgeon yesterday. In which he refused to prescribe any pain meds to me even though I am in complete and utter misery right now as we speak. My life has been hell since the surgery, 4 days out, my right arm shut down lost all strength, it came back a few days later. A week and half out of surgery is when my face started randomly swelling, I went to ER, they say its normal reaction to a major surgery.. It swole again yesterday before my Dr visit.. My surgeon did prescribe Norco 10 mg 60 of them upon release from surgery, then 2 weeks out of surgery, another 50.. Of which I am out of now, Even when I had them it felt like they werent really strong enough, because sometimes I'd have to take 2 instead of the suggested 1 to feel any relief whatsoever. Yesterday during my follow up he refused to prescribe anything else for pain. He suggested I find a PCP and have him address my pain and daily panic attacks.. And sent me home with my head swole up like a pumpkin and feeling like I've been shot in the head with a shotgun.. So this morning I managed to get my surgeon to send a referal to a pain clinic I researched and found.. I'm sooo nervous that I will again be dismissed as a "drug seeker" or whatever.. Which I assure everyone I'm not.. I just NEED HELP, I can't sleep longer than 2 hrs EVER.. I am in constant pain, and I feel like during my seizures I've fractured a few ribs because they constantly kill me.. So my constant pain which is sometimes only like a 4 out of 10, then sometimes is a 10 which will almost make me want to cry, between that and my daily panic attacks which sometimes I have because I'm scared of getting one so I have one being scared I'll get one.. Crazy man, all I can say is that if you'd have asked me in the begining of june if I thought Id be here id have called you crazy.. Anyways, any suggestions for me for tomorrow, so as NOT to come off as a drug seeker and just someone who genuinely needs relief.. Thats all I want is relief.. God I hope I don't get dismissed as a drug seeker.. I only worry cuz I'm covered in tattoos and can see how someone would look at me and think that..