Wondering if anyone can give me any tips to help other people to understand chronic pain??
I had revision discectomy 2 months ago and still in a lot of pain and struggling to walk without stick/splint. Had chronic pain for 4 years since failed discectomy.
I've read quite a few posts where people have talked about feeling down and isolated and not having support from family/friends. I'm lucky in that my family are great and I have some really close friends who get it and I'm so grateful to have them in my life to support me. However, my partner's family are a real problem and their negative attitudes towards me recently are starting to cause problems in my relationship as they think I'm making it up/making a big unnecessary deal of how much pain I'm in/ dont think I'm really in pain, am addicted to medication etc. When I first had a back problem, they talked to my partner about leaving me and recently have done this again following my operation. They don't want him to be with someone who is in pain all the time. He's told them he wants to be with me, but I'm so upset they are saying this.
I've spent the past 2 months worrying about their issues with me and trying to help my partner to understand everything I need (physically and emotionally). He's always understood and been great, but since second failed op, he's siding with his parents' views more and I've had hardly any support from him. My parents had to move in after the op to help with stuff as he wouldn't help and found it too much of a strain on him.
I've had insomnia for months and get barely 2 hours sleep a night. It's had a massive impact on me. I feel isolated and down in the dumps. I'm not able to work at the moment so spend all day everyday on my own. Everything is a struggle as can't bend down without pain so if I drop something, it stays there until my partner is back from work.
I've been trying to keep positive and keep going and not ask for help when I need to to avoid further problems & pretend I feel fine when I feel awful so his family don't think I'm moaning again. But I feel so horrendously guilty that I'm in pain and my health has caused me to have relationship problems. After not sleeping now for 40 hours, I think I've reached breaking point!
I have no idea what I can do to try and help my partner and his parents understand my situation and recognise that I need support from them right now, not moaning about me. I already feel bad enough!
Has anyone got any tips they can share? Do some people simply just not understand?