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When the motivation is gone.

Im sure I'm not the only one who is having a hard time coping with back issues. Mine is a T4-T10 fusion from a fall at work. Should have been paralysed, but luckily was not some how. Its been over a year now. A year that I cant get back. I do go to a Pain Management Doctor and Physical Therapy. Which both are a joke. I deal with pain every day. And its getting really old. Friends and family don't understand with what issues I deal with daily . They will say so and so had back surgery and they are fine? I cant tell you how bad I hate that when someone says..What is your problem? Why is it taking so long for you to get better. If you try and explain it, they still don't understand. I am, or was a carpenter. And as most carpenters they are pretty handy. I used to do a lot around the house and for other people. But I cant even cut the grass or even think about shoveling snow. Most likely my job is gone. Even if I did return, I'm not really sure I would want to climb around again. Scared of falling again. Im 51. And what do I have to look forward to. I have a garage full of tools that i used to use. Fix and tinker with stuff. When the cars needed service, I would do it. Oil changes, brakes, exhaust, wash and wax. Not no more. Its embarrassing when my kids, they are 18 and 20, will bring friends over and as anyone will ask. What does your Dad do? Of course they say, He does not work. My wife is ready to kill me. Try being home everyday together. She works at night. And had to pick up extra hours because workmans comp only pays you 2/3 of your pay. So we fight and argue a lot over money and what am I going to do. She will say I act like i'm 80 years old. And don't like to be seen with me, because I walk slow and if I use a cane. So I stay home alone. Watch everyone go about there day. I do clean and pick up. My back dictates how much. This is what I am reduced to. I was a avid outdoors man. Biking, hiking, fishing, boating, paddleboarding I loved the summer. People ask me, What do I do all day? I don't really know. What do you do when the drive is gone in you. Nothing makes you happy. Nothing to look forward to. Your life has stopped. I would rather be alone.
Greg fisher


  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,878
    But one way to look at everything, is that your life has not stopped, its just been put on hold for a while!

    A little while ago, I wrote this blog for Spine-Health and one of their writers published it.
    Chronic Pain beyond the physical impacts

    That has been something that I have lived with since the mid 1970's. At times, I've almost at standstills, but I've realized that if I let that happen, then there is absolutely no chance of marching and going ahead. No matter what pain and discomfort there was, or what obstacles were in front of me, I knew I had to continue.

    I know what it is like to live in pain. A day in the life of a person with chronic pain But even beyond that over the years of dealing with that day by day living, I also enjoyed some good days along with the not so good ones. I learned all about The roller coaster ride

    Where is the future heading, Where am I going to be 5, 10 years from now?

    To me, its very important that we learn to deal with it all

    I am not trying just to give a pep talk. Instead, I am talking about real life experiences. Dealing with all of this for over 35 years, I can not tell you how many ups and downs I have had.

    Today, I understand my limitations and restrictions. I've learned how to adjust my life accordingly. In fact, the things that bother me the most today is when people are always asking me how I am feeling, how is your back?, etc, I am just so tired of hearing all about that. I just tell others, I am doing fine, please think about others who really need help.

    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • itsautonomicitsautonomic LouisianaPosts: 1,820
    edited 02/02/2016 - 7:08 AM
    That is a huge fusion in that area , I know most doctors I talked to for single level fusion in thoracic said it will be a year before feeling ok. Maybe time will allow more healing?
    I to was a very athletic , outgoing person who loved the summers just like you couldn't stand indoors. I wish I could say you find things to replace the active ones and hands on stuff that you love as much , but I would be lying I miss it everyday. I am bored out of my mind with non active things and not working right now.
    People never will understand unless they lived through it sadly, that pain is probably just as bad as many cancer patients deal with yet you won't get half the compassion or understanding from people.
    Lastly if pain management is a joke and PT, does that mean they are not helping at all? If so that's where I would start , that's shouldn't be right if you are doing all that's asked yet no relief is coming then you may need a different opinion or course of treatment. After surgery like that pain will sadly probably always be there , but if it's deteriorating having some kind of quality of life than more needs to be done.
    Do your due dilegence, trust you know your body and question everything if it does not fit. Advocate for yourself and you will be suprised what will be revealed trusting your body and instinct.
  • gfishggfish Pittsburgh PAPosts: 160
    Ron, you are a very uplifting person. I have read all your stories and so many comments to other members. My grass is brown and the lemonade aid is sour. I just needed to blow off some steam. They say misery loves company.
    Greg fisher
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