Chronic Pain is Torture

Chronic Pain is Torture

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Humble_Pie
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Chronic Pain is Torture

I was going to post a reply to a comment but the more I got into it, the more I started thinking this should probably be its own topic.

I have been a chronic pain sufferer for approximately 4 years now. I am still learning about this disease and how to control it. I have run into major road blocks trying to get support from family and friends in trying to keep this under control. At first, I thought chronic pain was about pain medications and keeping the pain down. I had been in accidents as a youth suffering broken arms, wrists, concussions, burns, etc. These hurt very much but I was able to get through without much trouble and without much pain medications. I was able to mentally block much of the pain and just push through the problems until my body was able to heal.

I have learned over the years with chronic pain that to just tough it out and push through doesn't work. When dealing with chronic pain, it just makes it worse (At least in my case). I think this is where normal family members, friends, etc get lost. It is also where I got lost in the beginning. I have learned over time that intense pain 24 / 7 causes weird things to happen to the body physically which is why we need pain medication often around the clock. It also causes major psychological issues which is why we need anti-depressant medications. This one took me the longest to learn.

I am trying to learn how to teach my loved ones about this. I still get the just quit the meds and your body will adjust I know this doesn't work but after getting pushed so long and hard, I start to believe it and give it a try. It usually ends up with me being beyond miserable pain wise as well as having massive anger and depression issues. In thinking about how we deal with chronic pain and how to teach others about it, the term TORTURE came across my mind. What most if not all of us deal with on a daily basis is nothing more than good ol fashioned torture. In wars, interrogations, etc, how do you get people to crack? How do you get them to be so distraught that they will tell you anything to get relief? What is it that gets people to think that death is a better alternative than what they are dealing with on a daily basis?

Is Chronic Pain just another term for Torture? I know we have a lot of intelligent people on here so I thought this might be an interesting take on how I'm feeling. Maybe it will give me a new angle to try and get people to understand what we are really going through.

What do you all think?

dilauro
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Chronic Pain is difficult for everyone to live with

But honestly, dealing with chronic pain on/off for over 30 years now, I tend to view/treat it somewhat differently.

If it is Torture, then there will be pain, today, tomorrow and down the road. Instead, I look at chronic pain as being the beast. Why? Because I think at times we can control that. And of course at times we can not.

Its my way of keeping an edge, keeping a positive edge on my medical condition so that it will not get the best of me. Its not easy, its never been easy. But giving in to the beast is the easiest thing to do, but then what kind of life would you have?

Each of us have to learn how to best deal with chronic pain. I have my ways. Are mine the correct ones? Who knows. Whatever it takes to get up each morning, deal with the pain, go through the day and just realizing it all happens tomorrow, is what you need.

My chronicle: A Day in a Life

One thing I know for sure is that you dont want to deal with all of this yourself. You need the support and love of your family. But at times that is difficult, because as you said, they may not understand your pain, understand that you need your pain medications. So many people are hung up on pain medications that if you just stop them, you will be fine! I think almost everyone here would love that to be true.

Education is so very important. Important both to the person living in pain and also for the family surrounding them. People seem to have no problem seeking medical attention for their conditions. But seeking counselor for emotional situations doesn't always fit well. It should because for some, that is so very important.

Never try to be Super-Man/Woman. Understand what you are dealing with and bring others into your life. Many people have success bringing part of their family to their doctors to hear about chronic pain and pain medications.

Its a tough road, but it is one that we all have to make sure we walk through.

Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Moderator
Dont laugh at me

Humble_Pie
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As usual, you have given me

As usual, you have given me some good advice and a new perspective in dealing with my own BEAST. I have never been good at seeking out help and am learning that t here is absolutely no way possible to deal with this problem on our own. I have to learn to accept help first and second, I have to find a place to get it. Right now I have little to no understanding regarding chronic pain and pain management from my immediate family. I fact, I have a spouse who has never had a broken anything or any sort of pain other than a couple pretty smooth child births to compare anything with. This is a person that was brought up believing that anyone who takes an anti-depressant is looking for a happy pill to fix all the ills in their life and the same perspective with pain and pain medications. I have taken this person with me to my doctors appt and tried to educate them and all I ended up with was an extremely confrontational spouse calling my doctor a money grubbing quack who was trying to kill me by giving me medication. I do, however, love this person more than anything in the world and she offers many other qualities that are extremely wonderful. I'm afraid I'm getting to a crossroads where I might have to put my foot down a little harder and make a decision. Do I LIVE or keep this person around me? The way things are right now, I'm not so sure I can have both until they are willing to see the BEAST as the disease it truly is. It takes just too much out of me to be fighting a battle on both fronts. Big problem is that my children get conflicting information and I really don't want to force them into making choices they shouldn't have to be making at this point. Its already hard enough having a father that is unable to do about 75% of what he did 3 years ago. Sorry I'm just rambling along here. I know a lot of times that by just talking things out, it might help me come up with a solution. I just figure that with all the experience and knowledge here, there might be someone with a similar experience and some good advice or somebody else in the same situation looking for answers or just the knowledge that others are going through the same thing.

Thanks for listening to me ramble feel free to give me advice or even ask me questions that you might think I could help with. All I know for sure is that this sucks. It is a life changing BEAST and each person will have to learn to deal with it differently. I hope each person out there finds a positive and healthy way to deal with their BEAST and live long, productive lives.

Best Wishes To All and a PAIN FREE NIGHT

deltalady
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Hi Humble Pie

Just had to let you know that I had those same thoughts about chronic pain -- that it was torture, plain and simple.

No normal person would have an expectation of normal behavior from a person who was being tortured but chronic pain sufferers are seldom given that concession.

Judy

CMatthew
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Hit the nail on the head

Your comments are soo true and I have only been dealing with it for two years, but It's been the hardest two years of my life. I stopped my meds on my own three weeks ago just to see where my pain was at. And of course I forgot how bad that pain really was, and now this new WC DR. is doing the no meds tough it out approach. I have lost 30 lbs. because I have no appetite due to the pain and sleep maybe every 3 days because my body just shuts down. Chronic pain is hard physically and mentally and I don't agree with this DRs approach but when you are sucked into the WC system choices are limited. Hang in there and I will try the same but keeping your sanity definitely plays a huge role in this. Great topic and you hit the nail on the head as far as explaining this.

jsirabella
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deltalady and Ron are both right...

I do believe it is easier for me to deal with mentally when I see the pain as something 'over' there that I could fight as opposed to something 'within' me I must tolerate as best I can. As soon as we begin to loose the will to fight the sooner we loose control of our lives and to me that is the key to victory...not to let the beast dictate your life but instead create a life that allows you to best control the beast.

As far as what other people think...honestly they do not understand, will never understand and to be perfectly honest I do not care nor need their pity or compassion. All I wish is that they simply do not make my life any tougher. For example the other day in the restaurant as a Father's day make up I took my Dad out and he had too many drinks. By the end of the dinner he was almost in tears, grabbing me and cursing God for it. I have to deal with alot of crap already...I do not need anymore. All I ask is a simple hello and if you really understand my issues just do so with small acts of compassion. The best ones are done non-verbally. Actions always speak louder than words.

But honestly deltalady is also correct...plain and simple this is torture. No person grows up thinking that this will be their future. We have a right to be angry and honestly it is unfair. This kind of pain was never intended to last this long. When an animal in the wild breaks his leg, nature takes care of the rest to make sure he need not suffer too long.

But I see no reason to throw pity parties cause of my torture. The beast wins. And honestly I am so angry that I will not let the beast win. I may be in pain but you will not control me! I will have a productive life! FU! (sorry if not allowed in this forum) See what I mean about the beast (pain) not being me but something outside of me.

-js

sagehen
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poster person for miserable

We could all be the poster person for miserable,to say the least. I always read the posts concerning chronic pain,hoping to find a new way of coping.My beast is having a growing spurt this year...and I don't know why. And like you Humble Pie,my family support is just not there.I am alone in this.And that is a totally different beast to contend with.In fact my PM Dr has reffered me to a psycholigist to help with that.Maybe that would help you too,I'm willing to try just about anything right now.I'm not in the position to leave,but I do want to learn to cope with,both the lack of support and the pain.
I will be thinking of you and hoping you find some relief. Take care, Taunya