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What is the hardest

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124

Comments

  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 12,230
    but we all have to stop thinking in terms of what we miss, that we are no longer ..............

    Instead, put your energy and efforts into what you can still do and more.

    There are millions of people who have severe disability and found every possible way to stay on top, never give in and make every second count.

    That really is the only way to survive in this life we call SpineyWorld
    Ron DiLauro Veritas-Health Forums Manager
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Ron,

    Thanks so much for your support, and reality check.....hahaha! I have come to accept my limitations, and mourn the things I miss. A little piece of me will always hope I may be able to return to some sort of normalcy. I am still so fresh in the game, I just need to have a little more patience :)

    Thanks again,
    Monica
    April 2011 C1-C2 Fusion (Brooks wiring)
    January 2012 C1-C2 Revision Fusion (Harms Technique)
    2010 - current: Trigger Point Injections, Epidural Injections, Bilateral C2-C3 Radiofrequency Ablations
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  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 12,230
    always here for support. We fully understand the value of having support from others
    Ron DiLauro Veritas-Health Forums Manager
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • My biggest challenge has been the feeling of being "high maintenance" for my family. I feel like I am robbing my children of wonderful childhood memories and wearing my husband out! The constant, chronic pain has changed my mood and it's so hard to hide.

    I don't want my kids to look back at their childhood and only remember mom having a bad back! Before my back and neck trouble we had so much fun together.... running, wrestling, playing ball, going to ballgames, vacations! That has all stopped and it's emotionally draining to be reminded of it 24/7.

    If there is one positive, this has proven my families love for me! They have been wonderful and have not once complained in front of me! I feel so sad for those of you who have lost loved ones through this, I admire your strength!

    Keep the faith!!!!
    2007 and 2010 L4-S1 Microdiscectomies; helped for a total of 3 years between the 2 of them.
    08/2011....pain returned.
    10/03/2012....back reconstruction L3-S1...large titanium "seperators" were put at each level with synthetic bone graft material.
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 12,230
    Your environment, your concerns, your fears are something that so many of us here have had.

    I want to share my own personal experience with this one. I started to have spinal problems and first spinal surgery when I was 28. At that time, my son was 4 years old and my daughter was born 6 months after my first spinal surgery.

    My children grew up understanding that I had spinal problems and had physical limitations.

    They adjusted much better than I did. I wanted to do more than I should have, but even at young ages, my children realized the situation. They did things to make sure I would not hurt myself. That alone, gave them an extra sense of responsibility. I do believe that that helped make them into stronger adults and have a strong sense of compassion towards those that have limitations.

    My children are now 37 and 34. They still make sure that their Dad (me) doesnt do things to hurt myself.

    Thats just my kids. My wife had to endure so much for our early ages. First surgery in 1978, now, in 2012, I still had a surgery (hip replacement) in 2011. My wife has been by my side through it all.
    She had to adjust her life style to make it easier for me. She loved riding horses, she wanted to snow ski more, she wanted to learn how to play golf. But because I couldn't do those things, she didnt pursue and of those.

    Instead, even after work full time at a hospital, she came home and did so much of the physical work at home. Getting on ladders, digging ditches, pulling weeds, planting shrubs, and so much more.

    She did it for ME and never resented it. Me on the other side always felt guilty. I could never do enough to show my appreciation.

    Its all about Love. 1995, the fact that you spoke about this, to me is enough to know that you too will see how all of this develops and it will be positive.
    Ron DiLauro Veritas-Health Forums Manager
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
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  • j.howiejj.howie Brentwood, Ca., USAPosts: 1,746
    First off, I figure most of you type 30-40, 50-60 words a min. For some of the posts that I've made over time. You would not believe how long it has taken me. I type so slow. That a lot of times if my burned out mind can't compact things, (words) well, I wind up spending way more time at the computer than a person should.
    What you type in a New York minute......Takes me a mountain mans hour!
    And Ron I really thought at the time of my post, you were talking about.... the single....not.... plural....not Singles....most important thing....not things
    And that close, post op. I just couldn't put my finger on 1, let alone many.
    And if I could it would take me 2 days to type it.
    And now after reading all of you guys' Posts' I can pretty much just say....DITTO....to most of the things you guys said! Not all, but most. And could probably add many, many more.
    But I want to boil it down to just 2....

    1. I always thought I could be "FIXED" Never, not for one moment did I ever think differently. Remember please, I'm talking about the 80's and 90's

    2. The fear of taking HEAVY narcotics.

    Jim
    Click my name to see my Medical history
    You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
    Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!
  • I can relate. I am a late baby boomer. I try to be positive but this has gone on for many years. Continue to work full time but am not able to put in the effort that I used to. I am concerned that thy will let me go soon or That if i have another surgery i wont recover better the i am now. Hubby has many health and depression issues and I really need his support but I know he can't emotionally support me. I keep telling myself that I can only be responsible for my own health and try to take care of me. Right now I am having a bad pain flare and it is making me feel very useless. All I can do is work, basic survival housework and attempt to rest so that I can do it all over again. Thanks for allowing me to vent. I will be going to my PCP soon as I think I may be depressed and need to get
    This flare under control.
    Excuse my iPhone typing I don't thumb type well.
    I use a word prediction program that is really great at work. It works well for people who have motor or learning disabilities. At work I use it with children but recently I have been using for myself. It helps me with my motor issues. It also helps when I am having a brain fog as it supports spelling. If anyone is interested PM me and I will send the info.
    Nancy
    Severe DDD. Klippel Feil Deformity. Cervical Foraminatomy that turned into Lamy. I have tried so many treatments, therapy's and medications.
  • Hi Nancy :wave: - sending you a PM. I understand how you are feeling as far as a spouse who can't support you. For years I thought my husband had turned but head. Finally I was ready to walk out & leave him but thought just maybe it was a medical/mental issue.

    Long story made short - He is 48 yrs old and has Dementia :(

    I feel a tad better knowing it wasn't that he did not care, it was he can't care.

    So sticking to the subject here - one of the hardest things is walking this path alone (off line that is lol)
    L1 - S2 "gone" useless in 1 way or another. DDD. RA. Bone Spurs. Tons of nerve damage/issues. Stenosis. Both knees replaced. 50 yrs old. I had a great fall (hence my user name) at age 41 and it has been a domino effect every since.
  • ... I miss the loss of my best friend (see my post in Matters of the Heart) and the added stress it brings both physically and mentally. I wonder sometimes how we make it through?

    This is the hardest thing I've had to dea with, body and mind, in a long time.
  • The hardest part has been explaining to people that you are in pain when you visually look able to get up and go out. It's hard to stay positive on the day to day, and to have your family watch you struggle and struggle themselves.

    My 6 year old wrote me a letter the other day that said "I hope my mom feels better soon". Sweet.. but it's rough to know he thinks about it.
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